Im having trouble understanding?
Question: any real thoughts on this would be great. ive been with my bf nearly 3 years now we r living together and i have a little girl who he has taken on as his own, about 2 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant we are both very happy about it, but when he was going out with the girl before me she thought she was pregnant and he went and brought wedding rings because they was going to get married because that was the right thing to do in his eyes, it turned out she wasnt she was just late. (they were together 18 months) i have been with him 3 years and im defenatly (excuse my spelling) pregnant took 3 tests before i told him and got it comfirmed at the doctors, yet he has said nothing about marrige or getting engaged or anythink. why do u think that is. does he not love me as much as her or does he just not want to marry me. any sussegtions comments anythink to try and make me understand just a bit better would be very grateful
Answers: First off congratulations! Second, maybe he hasn't said anything about marriage because of what happened before. You said he was ready to marry the other girl because he thought she was pregnant. Maybe he's just waiting to see for sure if you are. Of course, you know you are but maybe he just needs time. If you are worried about it, ask him how he feels about getting married. It wouldn't hurt. Good luck.
Maybe he learned from his previous experiences that it's not a good idea to rush into marriage.
maybe he got burnt the first time and is being more careful this time round. Do you want to marry him because you're pregnant, because he proposed to the last girl or do you want to marry him because you want to spend the rest of your life with him?
do you have to be married to be happy? Will a ring make anything better or change anything?
not sure either
i hope ur situation becomes better
he probally knows that he doesnt want to rush it because he already did that once and it didn't work...he probally wants things to take time...he wants to ask you the question when hes ready...not because your having a baby...because he loves you and he knows its the right time...
If he wanted to marry you - he would have! Baby or not, he would have taken that step. If you have been with him for that long and he has shown no intrest in marrying you, why are you still with him? He's obviously happy having the cow and milk for free. Why would he commit to you and marry you when he's already getting all the benefits of a family and wife - without a lifetime commitment? It's a good deal for him! You need to sit down and have a serious talk. If you are mature enough to have a baby together - he should be committing to something more then just being your roommate.
well if he still has a girl then maybe he doesnt whant to ruin anything with her and if you guys are friends you should maybe date for a while before thinking about getting married.
has he acted strange? If not he must obviously love you. Be patient!!
maybe he doesn't feel ready yet or maybe he's waiting for the right time. Maybe he's scaed that you'll reject him or maybe he's buying this wonderful engagement ring!
To get married for that reason is wrong, also he may feel that he has been taken for a ride once and does not want to be taken again.
Why not ask HIM about it and see how HE feels. You know he just might feel insecure about it all.
At the time he thought it was the morally right thing to do, but as you said he's had three years of growing up that he's done since his last girlfriend before you. He probably just realizes that he doesn't have to marry you to love you. If he's still there...count your blessings ring or no ring, because a man who wishes to be active in your child's life is one you want to hold on to. :D
In the three years you've been together, has the subject of marriage between the two of you been brought up? Does he know how you are feeling about getting married? There could be a number of reasons he is not going the same route with you. She was a completely different person. Maybe she pressured him, or hinted a lot that he should take the high road, where you may be more subtle and not wanting to him to feel so obligated. Maybe he is feeling financially stressed and wants to wait until after you deliver. You know him better than I do, so the best solution is to sit down with him and start out by asking where he sees the future with you. A good way to start is to ask, Do you want our son/daughter to have your last name, or mine, and does this mean you want to get married. If not, what are your feelings about raising a child without being married? Is that how you felt with your ex? How are you different now than how you were then? Trust me. Ask all these questions because it will improve your level of communication altogether. Don't wait til your hormones are raging, and you burst into tears while accusing him of not loving you enough. Be realistic. And be heard. Good luck.
I don't think that its not cause he doesn't love you , marriage is a big step and maybe he is feeling different since his last relationship went sour on her being pregnant i understand that you definitely have it confirmed but how long has it been since you told him he might just need some time ? You can also talk to him about how you are feeling to .
Now when it comes to marriage just cause its the right thing to do I feel that its all wrong I got pregnant and was told to do the right thing and I look back and I think to my self what kind of person was I WOW I know better now . Marriage is about commitment not the convenience cause its the right thing to do its about spending the rest of your life with that person , please make sure that this is that right person and marry him cause he is your best friend and because you love him not because you are pregnant
god bless and gl to you and I hope you have a healthy baby
actually i think it shows that he has grown up and is not going to do something for the wrong reasons this time. i mean when he asks you to marry him it won't be because he thinks it is the right thing to do, it will be because he loves you and wants to be with you. maybe that is why he hasn't asked yet, he may not want you to think he is doing the right thing like with his ex.
who knows love; you should just ask him how he feels.
hi''''',...i don't know if i have the right to say these to you,,,but its for your own good... first is that your by might having difficulties in choosing you and between that girl you said....maybe he fell in love with her and he is stupid enough to to leave you hanging, you're pregnant and he should supposed make an effort to make you feel more happier....,not just leave you with these girl pretending to pregnant......you have to make a choice to its either you'll continue your relationship with these guy or move on with your life and find someone much more better than him.....,yes your pregnant and his the father....but the question is those he really love to with you, is he still happy when your together.... and pray to the Lord that he'll give you straight to go thru all of these trials and pray for wisdom in having your right decisions.......God Bless always........
was his proposal part of the reason his last relationship failed?
maybe he doesn't want the same thing to happen with you and is unsure how/when to broach the subject. talk to him about it
You should probably ask him. No one here is going to be able to shed light on what's going through his mind.
However, when you bring it up with him, don't use the word 'marriage' and try to keep the conversation away from that topic. Just say something like, I'm concerned about the fact that you have reacted to these two situations differently. Can you help me to understand why? . As most women know, bringing up marriage in these contexts just scares men. So try to keep the conversation focused on how he's feeling about your relationship and the baby.
Congratulations on the pregnancy and best of luck with this situation.
Indie
Maybe he is planning to ask you but hasn't yet have you considered this? I am sure from what you wrote about him he loves you. Try talking to him and see what he says.
because the first time round he knew he'd made a mistake and he's just covering his back, he's wised up now
He has probably matured since the last time. He has realised that getting married because it's the right thing to do is not the answer. I don't think he loves you less than her, if anything he loves you more. He's in a real relationship not just going through the motions of what he thinks society expects of him.
Congratulations on the new baby.
Why don't you ask him ?
don'tread too much into it, i am sure he loves you, but let him do it in his own time, maybe i does not know that you may want to bind your relationship in this way, have you talked about getting married in the near future and don't forget people can change their views, give him a chance, good luck hun and congratulations on the baby.
Answers: First off congratulations! Second, maybe he hasn't said anything about marriage because of what happened before. You said he was ready to marry the other girl because he thought she was pregnant. Maybe he's just waiting to see for sure if you are. Of course, you know you are but maybe he just needs time. If you are worried about it, ask him how he feels about getting married. It wouldn't hurt. Good luck.
Maybe he learned from his previous experiences that it's not a good idea to rush into marriage.
maybe he got burnt the first time and is being more careful this time round. Do you want to marry him because you're pregnant, because he proposed to the last girl or do you want to marry him because you want to spend the rest of your life with him?
do you have to be married to be happy? Will a ring make anything better or change anything?
not sure either
i hope ur situation becomes better
he probally knows that he doesnt want to rush it because he already did that once and it didn't work...he probally wants things to take time...he wants to ask you the question when hes ready...not because your having a baby...because he loves you and he knows its the right time...
If he wanted to marry you - he would have! Baby or not, he would have taken that step. If you have been with him for that long and he has shown no intrest in marrying you, why are you still with him? He's obviously happy having the cow and milk for free. Why would he commit to you and marry you when he's already getting all the benefits of a family and wife - without a lifetime commitment? It's a good deal for him! You need to sit down and have a serious talk. If you are mature enough to have a baby together - he should be committing to something more then just being your roommate.
well if he still has a girl then maybe he doesnt whant to ruin anything with her and if you guys are friends you should maybe date for a while before thinking about getting married.
has he acted strange? If not he must obviously love you. Be patient!!
maybe he doesn't feel ready yet or maybe he's waiting for the right time. Maybe he's scaed that you'll reject him or maybe he's buying this wonderful engagement ring!
To get married for that reason is wrong, also he may feel that he has been taken for a ride once and does not want to be taken again.
Why not ask HIM about it and see how HE feels. You know he just might feel insecure about it all.
At the time he thought it was the morally right thing to do, but as you said he's had three years of growing up that he's done since his last girlfriend before you. He probably just realizes that he doesn't have to marry you to love you. If he's still there...count your blessings ring or no ring, because a man who wishes to be active in your child's life is one you want to hold on to. :D
In the three years you've been together, has the subject of marriage between the two of you been brought up? Does he know how you are feeling about getting married? There could be a number of reasons he is not going the same route with you. She was a completely different person. Maybe she pressured him, or hinted a lot that he should take the high road, where you may be more subtle and not wanting to him to feel so obligated. Maybe he is feeling financially stressed and wants to wait until after you deliver. You know him better than I do, so the best solution is to sit down with him and start out by asking where he sees the future with you. A good way to start is to ask, Do you want our son/daughter to have your last name, or mine, and does this mean you want to get married. If not, what are your feelings about raising a child without being married? Is that how you felt with your ex? How are you different now than how you were then? Trust me. Ask all these questions because it will improve your level of communication altogether. Don't wait til your hormones are raging, and you burst into tears while accusing him of not loving you enough. Be realistic. And be heard. Good luck.
I don't think that its not cause he doesn't love you , marriage is a big step and maybe he is feeling different since his last relationship went sour on her being pregnant i understand that you definitely have it confirmed but how long has it been since you told him he might just need some time ? You can also talk to him about how you are feeling to .
Now when it comes to marriage just cause its the right thing to do I feel that its all wrong I got pregnant and was told to do the right thing and I look back and I think to my self what kind of person was I WOW I know better now . Marriage is about commitment not the convenience cause its the right thing to do its about spending the rest of your life with that person , please make sure that this is that right person and marry him cause he is your best friend and because you love him not because you are pregnant
god bless and gl to you and I hope you have a healthy baby
actually i think it shows that he has grown up and is not going to do something for the wrong reasons this time. i mean when he asks you to marry him it won't be because he thinks it is the right thing to do, it will be because he loves you and wants to be with you. maybe that is why he hasn't asked yet, he may not want you to think he is doing the right thing like with his ex.
who knows love; you should just ask him how he feels.
hi''''',...i don't know if i have the right to say these to you,,,but its for your own good... first is that your by might having difficulties in choosing you and between that girl you said....maybe he fell in love with her and he is stupid enough to to leave you hanging, you're pregnant and he should supposed make an effort to make you feel more happier....,not just leave you with these girl pretending to pregnant......you have to make a choice to its either you'll continue your relationship with these guy or move on with your life and find someone much more better than him.....,yes your pregnant and his the father....but the question is those he really love to with you, is he still happy when your together.... and pray to the Lord that he'll give you straight to go thru all of these trials and pray for wisdom in having your right decisions.......God Bless always........
was his proposal part of the reason his last relationship failed?
maybe he doesn't want the same thing to happen with you and is unsure how/when to broach the subject. talk to him about it
You should probably ask him. No one here is going to be able to shed light on what's going through his mind.
However, when you bring it up with him, don't use the word 'marriage' and try to keep the conversation away from that topic. Just say something like, I'm concerned about the fact that you have reacted to these two situations differently. Can you help me to understand why? . As most women know, bringing up marriage in these contexts just scares men. So try to keep the conversation focused on how he's feeling about your relationship and the baby.
Congratulations on the pregnancy and best of luck with this situation.
Indie
Maybe he is planning to ask you but hasn't yet have you considered this? I am sure from what you wrote about him he loves you. Try talking to him and see what he says.
because the first time round he knew he'd made a mistake and he's just covering his back, he's wised up now
He has probably matured since the last time. He has realised that getting married because it's the right thing to do is not the answer. I don't think he loves you less than her, if anything he loves you more. He's in a real relationship not just going through the motions of what he thinks society expects of him.
Congratulations on the new baby.
Why don't you ask him ?
don'tread too much into it, i am sure he loves you, but let him do it in his own time, maybe i does not know that you may want to bind your relationship in this way, have you talked about getting married in the near future and don't forget people can change their views, give him a chance, good luck hun and congratulations on the baby.
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