Why does she make more effort with her kids?
Question: Is it common for a mother to take more interest in her daughters kids than her sons kids?
My mum in law always makes more effort for her daughters kids than mine...... your opinion please.
Answers: yes it is
I guess it is true. my mil does not even bother with mine.
i think it may have to do with something that a guy is able to take care of himself better. Also I think it is a stereotype. A man starts his own family, while a man marries into a family. I think it goes something like that. Talk to your mother and let her know how you feel, maybe she will change.
Maybe she thinks his kids need more special attention than yours because you are meeting their needs.
maybe she thinks that you can cope better?then again some moms just do it out of spite!has the daughter always been spoilt more?
Yes defo, it's something to do with daughters in law being funny characters in general, although I have to say my mum in law is great - she does nothing for any of us!!! My mum defo pays a lot more attention to mine but that's cos we live so near etc etc..
It's that saying A son's a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter for all of her life
Sounds like to me that she is more willing on the other ones because she feels more open and feels she is not invading.
What are you doing to push her back away from your kids? Are you more strick than the others?
She will only spoil your kids if you show her she is allowed to but if you pick at her about anything..she will back away.
Or maybe she thinks you are a worse parent and thinks you need to learn how to do it all on your own not as a punishment but because she wants you to learn on your own to be successful with your own kids.
I think mothers are closer to grown daughters than to grown sons, and therefore, take more interest in their daughter's children. I think this is still a generalization.
it,s how often she see them i supose or could be mother daughter thing
I don't care what our parents say, there is always a favorite to some extent. Maybe her daughter is the favorite in-turn her children are her favorite grandchildren. Or maybe she feels that her daughters children need her more than your kids do.
Women often feel closer to their daughters than their sons because they've shared the daughter's transition from girl to woman to wife to mother...as the old proverb goes, A son's your son till he takes a wife, a daughter's your daughter all her life.
They may also feel chary of making the DIL uncomfortable by horning in on her childrearing; and of course the relationship between MILs and DILs is proverbially tense.
The mother is always closer to the daughter. A daughters a daughter for the rest of her life.
I have two daughters and one son, I love my son very much, but my daughters take more interest in me than my son does. They are all married to good spouses.
Usually daughters are closer to their mothers and vice versa, and spend more time together. Thats why mothers usually take more notice of her daughters children than her sons. The saying 'A daughters a daughter all of her life a sons a son til he takes a wife' comes to mind
i think its a mother/daughter thing... my sister in law is always round her mums house with the kids and hardly ever at my mums, whereas my sis is always with our mum... I think daughters tend to 'need' their own mum when they've become parents themselves.
I think perhaps that a mom would feel more in common with her daughter as a mom herself. Don't let it get to you, what is important is your time and interest in your kids, not hers.
It's crappy, but it happens. My own grandmother never ever spent any time with my me or my brother, yet had a very close relationship with all of my cousins. So, if it bothers you you need to tell her, not for your sake but the sake of your children. Believe me, they'll know they're being rejected.
No it is NOT. I love and spend time with my daughters and sons children equally.I couldn't even think of doing it any other way.I was at the birth of all my grandchildren.Each has a special place in my heart.To my great happiness each thinks that they are my favorite.Your mum in law is very wrong and missing out on much joy.
SHE raised her baby girl, and now her baby girl gets to experience motherhood too. I don't think it's fair for the grandkids, nor do I think it is right...but it is like that with my grandma, 4 boys, then 2 girls. My dad is the oldest boy, and my aunt is the oldest girl. My sister and 3 brothers and I always take the back burners to Missy's kids. All the cousins, and such sees this, but she just does not understand when we tell her we'd like to see some special attention occasionally... Like pick US up from school and take US to Boise for shopping and icecream....... not just for the free clothes and crap, but just a little attention would be nice from time to time!
mothers are closer to there daughters, and it's the moms that usualy have the kids. mothers usualy don't like who there son chooses in life, cause when it ends the daughter-in-law is gonna screw our sons take him for every penny he has, take half of his pay check so he can't even support himself. even if she never worked a day and he bought everything she still gets half thats not right.
It's not the kids. It's the relationship with the daughter. Long before we have children, we imagine getting close to our daughters (if we have them) and their kids. With our sons...we just naturally know...the 'woman' in his life is not his 'mommy' anymore...its his wife. If you want a close gramma/grandkid relationship....make more of an effort to become 'her daughter/her friend'. Ask her to go shopping with you....walk in the park....teach you some of her favorite recipes that her Son loves, etc. Get involved with her and she'll get to know you and your kids more.
A very important note...no derrogatory remarks about her son. Leave him out as topic unless its nice. ;D
Good luck and have fun.
Please understand that I don't agree with it, but in Spanish there is a popular saying: Your daughter's children are your grandchildren. Your son's children, who knows?
Evil, isn't it?
There's always a bit of rivalry between mother and daughter in law. A bit of ownership between biological mother and daughter.
It's unfair, really, but in a way it gives you more independence. Focus on that.
Mum's bond loads with their daughters when they are pregnant which makes their and their childrens relationships closer on that side of the family. Plus its hard for the Mother in law to spend loads of time with her grandchildren on the sons side without seeming over bearing to the daughter in law. A fine line I think! Sons dont realise when Mum is interfering and tell her to cool it where as daughters do, or they use monther's intuition.
I think its more a question of mothers feel closer to their daughters, and so take an interest in their children. My Mum in Law only has my hubby, so my kids are everything to her. Whereas my mum has two daughters, me and my sis. I ask my mum for advice on my kids more than my mum in law. I think the secret is to build a good relationship with your mother in law, and then she will feel included in your childrens lives more. She probably feels that you have your own mother who will fulfill the role she plays with her daughters children.
Then again my sis has major probs with her mum in law, who has one daughter and five sons. The daughter lives with her, so her kids get everything and the sons children nothing. Its a question of proximity and closeness!
My mum does more for my sisters kids, but I don't feel neglected. My sister visits my mum more and does more for her than I do, also my sisters kids need more than mine, as we have a better standard of living than my sister. You have to look at the whole picture, and understand where your mum in law is coming from.
my mum always says she is closer to my kids because she is closer to me. i bet she sees more of her daughter, as you get older mums and daughters have a bond and my mum feels that she can say and do with my kids as she sees fit but no disrespect doesn't feel able to do same with daughter in law in case it is seen as interfering. i don't always agree with things she does but i am not uncomfortable to tell her were as a daughter in law may not just be as comfortable. it may seem that she does more, try telling her that you don't mind having her around more or ask her for help now and again they like to feel important
I think that mothers and daughters have a special bond that is not shared with the son. Like a father /son bond. I don't think your mother in law notices what she is doing.
I think so, simply because daughter trusts her own mother above all others and would therefore leave her baby or kids with her without a second thought, which in return builds a close relationship with that child. However, that does not mean her son's kids are loved less, as the son's wife would in turn leave her baby or kids with her mother, its human nature, so take heart your kids are loved just as much. You can build on this if you wish, spend more time with mother-in-law, include her more with family activities, hope this one side of it helps you. :)
yes it is common. i am not sure why though. my mom is closer with my son than my brothers kids. she feels more comfortable with mine. my brother is more strict about her visting and calling.
not normal
My mum in law always makes more effort for her daughters kids than mine...... your opinion please.
Answers: yes it is
I guess it is true. my mil does not even bother with mine.
i think it may have to do with something that a guy is able to take care of himself better. Also I think it is a stereotype. A man starts his own family, while a man marries into a family. I think it goes something like that. Talk to your mother and let her know how you feel, maybe she will change.
Maybe she thinks his kids need more special attention than yours because you are meeting their needs.
maybe she thinks that you can cope better?then again some moms just do it out of spite!has the daughter always been spoilt more?
Yes defo, it's something to do with daughters in law being funny characters in general, although I have to say my mum in law is great - she does nothing for any of us!!! My mum defo pays a lot more attention to mine but that's cos we live so near etc etc..
It's that saying A son's a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter for all of her life
Sounds like to me that she is more willing on the other ones because she feels more open and feels she is not invading.
What are you doing to push her back away from your kids? Are you more strick than the others?
She will only spoil your kids if you show her she is allowed to but if you pick at her about anything..she will back away.
Or maybe she thinks you are a worse parent and thinks you need to learn how to do it all on your own not as a punishment but because she wants you to learn on your own to be successful with your own kids.
I think mothers are closer to grown daughters than to grown sons, and therefore, take more interest in their daughter's children. I think this is still a generalization.
it,s how often she see them i supose or could be mother daughter thing
I don't care what our parents say, there is always a favorite to some extent. Maybe her daughter is the favorite in-turn her children are her favorite grandchildren. Or maybe she feels that her daughters children need her more than your kids do.
Women often feel closer to their daughters than their sons because they've shared the daughter's transition from girl to woman to wife to mother...as the old proverb goes, A son's your son till he takes a wife, a daughter's your daughter all her life.
They may also feel chary of making the DIL uncomfortable by horning in on her childrearing; and of course the relationship between MILs and DILs is proverbially tense.
The mother is always closer to the daughter. A daughters a daughter for the rest of her life.
I have two daughters and one son, I love my son very much, but my daughters take more interest in me than my son does. They are all married to good spouses.
Usually daughters are closer to their mothers and vice versa, and spend more time together. Thats why mothers usually take more notice of her daughters children than her sons. The saying 'A daughters a daughter all of her life a sons a son til he takes a wife' comes to mind
i think its a mother/daughter thing... my sister in law is always round her mums house with the kids and hardly ever at my mums, whereas my sis is always with our mum... I think daughters tend to 'need' their own mum when they've become parents themselves.
I think perhaps that a mom would feel more in common with her daughter as a mom herself. Don't let it get to you, what is important is your time and interest in your kids, not hers.
It's crappy, but it happens. My own grandmother never ever spent any time with my me or my brother, yet had a very close relationship with all of my cousins. So, if it bothers you you need to tell her, not for your sake but the sake of your children. Believe me, they'll know they're being rejected.
No it is NOT. I love and spend time with my daughters and sons children equally.I couldn't even think of doing it any other way.I was at the birth of all my grandchildren.Each has a special place in my heart.To my great happiness each thinks that they are my favorite.Your mum in law is very wrong and missing out on much joy.
SHE raised her baby girl, and now her baby girl gets to experience motherhood too. I don't think it's fair for the grandkids, nor do I think it is right...but it is like that with my grandma, 4 boys, then 2 girls. My dad is the oldest boy, and my aunt is the oldest girl. My sister and 3 brothers and I always take the back burners to Missy's kids. All the cousins, and such sees this, but she just does not understand when we tell her we'd like to see some special attention occasionally... Like pick US up from school and take US to Boise for shopping and icecream....... not just for the free clothes and crap, but just a little attention would be nice from time to time!
mothers are closer to there daughters, and it's the moms that usualy have the kids. mothers usualy don't like who there son chooses in life, cause when it ends the daughter-in-law is gonna screw our sons take him for every penny he has, take half of his pay check so he can't even support himself. even if she never worked a day and he bought everything she still gets half thats not right.
It's not the kids. It's the relationship with the daughter. Long before we have children, we imagine getting close to our daughters (if we have them) and their kids. With our sons...we just naturally know...the 'woman' in his life is not his 'mommy' anymore...its his wife. If you want a close gramma/grandkid relationship....make more of an effort to become 'her daughter/her friend'. Ask her to go shopping with you....walk in the park....teach you some of her favorite recipes that her Son loves, etc. Get involved with her and she'll get to know you and your kids more.
A very important note...no derrogatory remarks about her son. Leave him out as topic unless its nice. ;D
Good luck and have fun.
Please understand that I don't agree with it, but in Spanish there is a popular saying: Your daughter's children are your grandchildren. Your son's children, who knows?
Evil, isn't it?
There's always a bit of rivalry between mother and daughter in law. A bit of ownership between biological mother and daughter.
It's unfair, really, but in a way it gives you more independence. Focus on that.
Mum's bond loads with their daughters when they are pregnant which makes their and their childrens relationships closer on that side of the family. Plus its hard for the Mother in law to spend loads of time with her grandchildren on the sons side without seeming over bearing to the daughter in law. A fine line I think! Sons dont realise when Mum is interfering and tell her to cool it where as daughters do, or they use monther's intuition.
I think its more a question of mothers feel closer to their daughters, and so take an interest in their children. My Mum in Law only has my hubby, so my kids are everything to her. Whereas my mum has two daughters, me and my sis. I ask my mum for advice on my kids more than my mum in law. I think the secret is to build a good relationship with your mother in law, and then she will feel included in your childrens lives more. She probably feels that you have your own mother who will fulfill the role she plays with her daughters children.
Then again my sis has major probs with her mum in law, who has one daughter and five sons. The daughter lives with her, so her kids get everything and the sons children nothing. Its a question of proximity and closeness!
My mum does more for my sisters kids, but I don't feel neglected. My sister visits my mum more and does more for her than I do, also my sisters kids need more than mine, as we have a better standard of living than my sister. You have to look at the whole picture, and understand where your mum in law is coming from.
my mum always says she is closer to my kids because she is closer to me. i bet she sees more of her daughter, as you get older mums and daughters have a bond and my mum feels that she can say and do with my kids as she sees fit but no disrespect doesn't feel able to do same with daughter in law in case it is seen as interfering. i don't always agree with things she does but i am not uncomfortable to tell her were as a daughter in law may not just be as comfortable. it may seem that she does more, try telling her that you don't mind having her around more or ask her for help now and again they like to feel important
I think that mothers and daughters have a special bond that is not shared with the son. Like a father /son bond. I don't think your mother in law notices what she is doing.
I think so, simply because daughter trusts her own mother above all others and would therefore leave her baby or kids with her without a second thought, which in return builds a close relationship with that child. However, that does not mean her son's kids are loved less, as the son's wife would in turn leave her baby or kids with her mother, its human nature, so take heart your kids are loved just as much. You can build on this if you wish, spend more time with mother-in-law, include her more with family activities, hope this one side of it helps you. :)
yes it is common. i am not sure why though. my mom is closer with my son than my brothers kids. she feels more comfortable with mine. my brother is more strict about her visting and calling.
not normal
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