How do other housewives do it?
Question: i am 28 years old and i have four children, i am just finding it so hard to keep up with everything! i keep the house fairly tidy, and i cook a decent meal every night etc.My kids are SERIOUSLY messy and i am struggling to keep up with all the normal chores as well as tidying up after my little angels!
Whenever i go visit anyone elses house it always looks immaculate! I am getting so worked up!
Answers: Well I am not a housewife, yet I am a single parent, and you sure have your hands full, this take practice yet it sound you may need to bring balance and routine in each of your day, such as you need to balance out the following
1. Time just for you
2. Time for chores and daily responsibilities
3. Time for your children with quality time with each of your children
4. Each child needs Structure and routine and quality time with you
5. Dont be so concern about the house, you have your hands full apply most focus on them, just try to keep the home from being nasty do dishes regularly , you know the basic, plan your house chore daily, every other day, bi weekly, monthly , priorities your chores , like laundry, dusting, cleaning appliance so on...
make a writen schedule and hang it up some where, with balance and always make sure you take care of your self to maintain your emotional and physical engry level.
if you are a morning person, take the time to wake up ealier to be functional to manage the children in the morning. My morning start at 4:30 am so I will functional and have my happy face on when I get my autisic son up out of bed to bath him and get him ready for school bus to pick him up. If you need more infor you can contact me in yaho messenger ID soulstore.... Remember Balance is the key with structure and be consistant .
you can only do your best hun! How old are the kids are they old enough to be tidying there own rooms? Get the father to give a hand!
make the kids help
Get your little Angels to do 1 chore each a day.
To help you
if your children are old enough, get them to start sharing the responsibility of housecleaning. let them learn to help mom by dusting or picking up their clothes and toys. as they grow, teach them to do the laundry or at least fold the clothes and put them away.
How old are you kids? Get them to help a little. Don't assume that they're homes are immaculate all the time. The might run around doing a mad cleaning spree when they know people are coming by.
You can never have a perfect house with 4 kids, sounds to me like you are doing a perfect job at the moment so dont let other peoples houses worry you.
I am the same but have realised the only way i can keep a perfect house is by cleaning up 24 hours of the day, and i am not willing to do that.
Try getting them to help out by making it fun. It makes them feel important if they think they're doing important things that an adult would do. Or you could promise them a once a week treat if they kept their rooms tidy. Mess = no treat! You'll probably find they even dust the light bulbs if it means they'll get something in return
Most other people's houses are immaculate because they knew in advance you were coming. I think you are being hard on yourself, four little kids mean you can never really have a show house, so it might help to just ease up on yourself, ask the kids to help (its for their own good) a rota if they are old enough. One night off from cooking a full meal wouldn't hurt them either beans on toast etc.
You don't say how old your angels are. I'm guessing the oldest may be around 5. Have the kids chip in and help with the daily routine of picking up toys, making beds, carrying dishes to the sink, setting the table, laying their clothes out for the next day. Involve them as much as possible not only to help you, but to teach them responsibility while doing things together as a family. Set aside certain times for their 'chores' for a routine and praise them for doing a good job (even if it's not perfect). The praise part will boost self esteem and make them want to do more with you.
I got tired of doing the same as you but I told my kids long ago that if you like that toy or that shirt , shorts, rct you better pick it up and place it where it goes or its going in the trash-- told them its there and not mine so if you like it care of it or it trash and that worked very well------------
I`m in a similar situation as yourself, except I have three and my gf is one of them. I went through the whole of the downstairs yeaterday while they were out and as soon as they came back in they dumped there stuff everywhere and all I got was a Huh? What you talking about? when I asked them to sort the things out. And thats from a 31, 6 and 4 year old.
well you have to organize your children mean you have to teach them to pick up after them always try them to be more organized so is gonna be easy for everyone even the littles ones you have to teach them to put their things in their place.
4 kids already? You should get your tubes tied!
My children are 21 and 26.I found my daughter messier than my son.My house has only just started staying tidy in the last 6mths as they have both left home!Relax as long as you know it is clean and your children are healthy and happy does it matter.Who wants to live in a show house.You didnt say if you have a partner but if so maybe he could give you a hand or if you can afford it maybe get a cleaner for couple of hours a week to do the little things you are finding hard to keep up with.I,m sure your children will be happier with a relaxed mum who spends time with them than one that nags about the mess.A lived in house is a happy house!
I'm 29 with three kids 10, 6 and 4. I have a maid but I still insist that my children pick up their dirty clothes and tidy up after themselves. It's a life skill that we all need to learn. You should reward them for doing this by telling them that if they hurry up and do their chores you will spend some extra quality time with them, like playing a board game or going to the park. They'll soon whizz through those chores! O.h yeah, if they don't do their chores have a punishment on hand like a t.v ban!
Hiya, first of all well done, you are doing well no matter what u think. How old are your children could they take some responsibility for the chores and keeping their rooms tidy?
Also people who have immaculate homes and young children obviously don't give enough time to their kids and are too worried about having the house looking perfect. It doesn't achieve anything by having an immaculate looking house, at the end of the day as long as its clean you can have a whip round after all the kids have gone to bed, put it all in a big massive box!! or get a sofa with under seat storage. That's probably the secret of all these so called super housewives! just hide it!! There is no way one woman could run a house with four children and a husband by herself. its impossible. Also get your husband to help you more, housework is not just a woman's job. My husband is a full time stay at home dad, he runs his record label between looking after the kids and in the evening. I work full time and we both share all the chores, we only have two children and it really difficult for us!
u can try work distribution with exact schedules in home. its very easy n proper solution for u. cause by this method everybody have thier own work to do so they also try to make ur home clean instead of thowing things or not cleaning etc etc. so group afforts always worth.
boring women keep tidy homes
Oh, hon... I know! It's so difficult to manage all that with 4 children!
And I also know the feeling that other people do it better- whatever it is. When you go to other people's homes, have they had time to get ready for your visit? I know if I have time to get it ready, my house can look ok, but if someone just drops it, I feel awful about the way things look.
Please be kind to yourself. You have a huge 24 hour a day job. Each year will be easier, but, for now, lower your expectations and enjoy each day with those children. Life goes by so quickly!
from a grandma-aged person
I have five children and I know exactly what you mean. My youngest 5 and the oldest 14. Having a chore schedule helps and they are all required to do the chores and work together. They have to have there task done in order to watch TV or play video games. They all do a good job of helping out and I found that they like having something they are responsible for. It's not 100% and they don't get grilled if the trash is not empty on time. I am pretty flexible. They all hate cleaning their rooms, but a reward system and some team work always seems to help. They all love helping cook and prepare meals, as well as working in the garden. Like I said it is not all 100% and I don't expect it to be and all I asked of them is to give it their best. Of course my 14 year old is learning to have more responsibility and the 5 year old is sometimes more helpful; sometimes I can not give him enough to do - He is always coming to me and asking Dad do you have something I can do? Things have changed alot and for part of the time it has been a struggle since my wife has started back to nursing school - Dad is learning too. Be patient and understanding and for the times you want to pull your hair out - just remember that is why God made washing machines (muddy days) =)))lol
Make a chart for them, decide what they can do to help, they get a treat when they do it and something taken away when they dont. You cant do it all yourself, you're no use to them if you're always tired out.
Are your kids safe, happy and fed? Then okay. You are on the right track. Try and set up a sticker board, kind of a points system, reward them with something, lets say they all make their own beds and clear the table, they would get a sticker for each chore. after 20 stickers promise them a treat, (night at the movies, a toy, alone time with mom or dad) Something they will work for. That will alleviate some of the house work.
welcome to motherhood! i gave my 3 kids each one chore they have to do everyday and that helps me out a little at the same time teaches them responsibility.
Oh do I know what you are going through! I went through this for so long. Last year, I had enough. My kids are 12, 10, and 4. I was trying to do it all myself and I couldn't anymore. Now, my kids all have a set thing to do. We rotate the choirs every week. (The 4 year old is in training though.....we are teaching him how to pick up his toys and he likes to follow along behind his big sister with a child size broom when she is sweeping.) One week one child might sweep, and rotate the laundry, while the other child does the dishes and takes out the garbage etc. They are also expected to pick up their dishes etc. after they eat and help with the kitchen. When they wouldn't pick up there things, I packed them up and put their things in the attic. When they show me that they can do their chores then I give them back the things I packed up. I do still fold the clothes, but they are expected to put theirs away neatly in their dresser. You just have to be consistent. They aren't going to want to do this all the time and who does, but they have to understand that a family works together.
Now, I have a clean house. I don't have nic-nacs and breakable things (that would be a disaster!) but we do have a clean house, and more time to enjoy ourselves after wards because of our team work !!
I think the other ppl's houses are clean be uz you are going over... Dont you clean when you know someone is coming over? I would say just lighten up about it and do the best you can! I bet you are a great mom and the fact that you have had FOUR already makes you a special person as well!!!
I have three @ 28, so I feel your pain... Be glad you arent 40 !!!!
I know where you are coming from. Most answers you have got is to get your little angels to help. They will not, why should they? Mummy will do it for them, she allways did. I say train them, get them into the habbit (believe me I am talking from experience here) There will be tantrums, tears and slammed doors but will worth in the end. I know thakes less time to just do it yourself but just stop doing things you know they can do at their age, your house will be a bigger mess (while the training period) but who cares? They will learn and they will do it. You have to take time to train them, never give up, it will do THEM a lot of good at the end of the day.
you have some good answers, you are doing an amazing job and yes other people might just clean when others come around or dedicate too much time to clean or even pay someone to do it. having the cleanest of the houses is not the most important thing is it? By the way, when do you have time to do your hair, nails, etc? remember, you need your ME time, sounds selfish but you deserve it. Children seem to love if they have good looking mums. I know mine does, sweet, isn't it? All in all, you are great, well done.
First off, forget everyone else. Everyone else is not raising four small children. Take a good look at what you can honestly accomplish in a day and still remain sane. Make it easy for the little ones to clean up. A friend of mine used baskets and plastic buckets, They aren't decoration but even the smallest child can throw a toy in a basket. I used to get up in the middle of the night (sleep pattern totally blown) and clean the house. It got done quickly and systmatically and then I could sleep when I went back to bed. I know your husband has his share of the responsibilitlies but you may want to have conversation about anything he can help you with. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and just shouldn't judge the condition of your home by what other people can do. Enjoy your babies while they are babies, you are giving them the greatest gift you can give....you.
My Mum had four girls. 4 years between me the oldest and the twins the youngest. She would be up an hour before us and did what she had to do. But from the minute we were old enough a rota was pinned up and we had to do chores. on a Sunday we chose music,, she handed us a cloth she put the music on full blast and we all did i the house work together and we loved it. she made doing chores fun.
Children like routine it will help you in the long run, if they don't lie it stop pocket money or take away privileges.
GOOD Luck
honey don't feel so bad we all have a hard time i am a mother of three 9yrs,6yrs and 3 years and i find my self in the same battle what i have done is i have each kid do one chore each like my 9 year old does the vac and my 6 year old picks up clothes and my 3 year ol help 's his brother and sister pick up toys and of course they have to tidy up there room i go in once a week for the big clean but they keep it tidy till then . and i give them 3.00 each allowance a week. and believe me it helps. and the kids like to make some extra money too.
Whenever i go visit anyone elses house it always looks immaculate! I am getting so worked up!
Answers: Well I am not a housewife, yet I am a single parent, and you sure have your hands full, this take practice yet it sound you may need to bring balance and routine in each of your day, such as you need to balance out the following
1. Time just for you
2. Time for chores and daily responsibilities
3. Time for your children with quality time with each of your children
4. Each child needs Structure and routine and quality time with you
5. Dont be so concern about the house, you have your hands full apply most focus on them, just try to keep the home from being nasty do dishes regularly , you know the basic, plan your house chore daily, every other day, bi weekly, monthly , priorities your chores , like laundry, dusting, cleaning appliance so on...
make a writen schedule and hang it up some where, with balance and always make sure you take care of your self to maintain your emotional and physical engry level.
if you are a morning person, take the time to wake up ealier to be functional to manage the children in the morning. My morning start at 4:30 am so I will functional and have my happy face on when I get my autisic son up out of bed to bath him and get him ready for school bus to pick him up. If you need more infor you can contact me in yaho messenger ID soulstore.... Remember Balance is the key with structure and be consistant .
you can only do your best hun! How old are the kids are they old enough to be tidying there own rooms? Get the father to give a hand!
make the kids help
Get your little Angels to do 1 chore each a day.
To help you
if your children are old enough, get them to start sharing the responsibility of housecleaning. let them learn to help mom by dusting or picking up their clothes and toys. as they grow, teach them to do the laundry or at least fold the clothes and put them away.
How old are you kids? Get them to help a little. Don't assume that they're homes are immaculate all the time. The might run around doing a mad cleaning spree when they know people are coming by.
You can never have a perfect house with 4 kids, sounds to me like you are doing a perfect job at the moment so dont let other peoples houses worry you.
I am the same but have realised the only way i can keep a perfect house is by cleaning up 24 hours of the day, and i am not willing to do that.
Try getting them to help out by making it fun. It makes them feel important if they think they're doing important things that an adult would do. Or you could promise them a once a week treat if they kept their rooms tidy. Mess = no treat! You'll probably find they even dust the light bulbs if it means they'll get something in return
Most other people's houses are immaculate because they knew in advance you were coming. I think you are being hard on yourself, four little kids mean you can never really have a show house, so it might help to just ease up on yourself, ask the kids to help (its for their own good) a rota if they are old enough. One night off from cooking a full meal wouldn't hurt them either beans on toast etc.
You don't say how old your angels are. I'm guessing the oldest may be around 5. Have the kids chip in and help with the daily routine of picking up toys, making beds, carrying dishes to the sink, setting the table, laying their clothes out for the next day. Involve them as much as possible not only to help you, but to teach them responsibility while doing things together as a family. Set aside certain times for their 'chores' for a routine and praise them for doing a good job (even if it's not perfect). The praise part will boost self esteem and make them want to do more with you.
I got tired of doing the same as you but I told my kids long ago that if you like that toy or that shirt , shorts, rct you better pick it up and place it where it goes or its going in the trash-- told them its there and not mine so if you like it care of it or it trash and that worked very well------------
I`m in a similar situation as yourself, except I have three and my gf is one of them. I went through the whole of the downstairs yeaterday while they were out and as soon as they came back in they dumped there stuff everywhere and all I got was a Huh? What you talking about? when I asked them to sort the things out. And thats from a 31, 6 and 4 year old.
well you have to organize your children mean you have to teach them to pick up after them always try them to be more organized so is gonna be easy for everyone even the littles ones you have to teach them to put their things in their place.
4 kids already? You should get your tubes tied!
My children are 21 and 26.I found my daughter messier than my son.My house has only just started staying tidy in the last 6mths as they have both left home!Relax as long as you know it is clean and your children are healthy and happy does it matter.Who wants to live in a show house.You didnt say if you have a partner but if so maybe he could give you a hand or if you can afford it maybe get a cleaner for couple of hours a week to do the little things you are finding hard to keep up with.I,m sure your children will be happier with a relaxed mum who spends time with them than one that nags about the mess.A lived in house is a happy house!
I'm 29 with three kids 10, 6 and 4. I have a maid but I still insist that my children pick up their dirty clothes and tidy up after themselves. It's a life skill that we all need to learn. You should reward them for doing this by telling them that if they hurry up and do their chores you will spend some extra quality time with them, like playing a board game or going to the park. They'll soon whizz through those chores! O.h yeah, if they don't do their chores have a punishment on hand like a t.v ban!
Hiya, first of all well done, you are doing well no matter what u think. How old are your children could they take some responsibility for the chores and keeping their rooms tidy?
Also people who have immaculate homes and young children obviously don't give enough time to their kids and are too worried about having the house looking perfect. It doesn't achieve anything by having an immaculate looking house, at the end of the day as long as its clean you can have a whip round after all the kids have gone to bed, put it all in a big massive box!! or get a sofa with under seat storage. That's probably the secret of all these so called super housewives! just hide it!! There is no way one woman could run a house with four children and a husband by herself. its impossible. Also get your husband to help you more, housework is not just a woman's job. My husband is a full time stay at home dad, he runs his record label between looking after the kids and in the evening. I work full time and we both share all the chores, we only have two children and it really difficult for us!
u can try work distribution with exact schedules in home. its very easy n proper solution for u. cause by this method everybody have thier own work to do so they also try to make ur home clean instead of thowing things or not cleaning etc etc. so group afforts always worth.
boring women keep tidy homes
Oh, hon... I know! It's so difficult to manage all that with 4 children!
And I also know the feeling that other people do it better- whatever it is. When you go to other people's homes, have they had time to get ready for your visit? I know if I have time to get it ready, my house can look ok, but if someone just drops it, I feel awful about the way things look.
Please be kind to yourself. You have a huge 24 hour a day job. Each year will be easier, but, for now, lower your expectations and enjoy each day with those children. Life goes by so quickly!
from a grandma-aged person
I have five children and I know exactly what you mean. My youngest 5 and the oldest 14. Having a chore schedule helps and they are all required to do the chores and work together. They have to have there task done in order to watch TV or play video games. They all do a good job of helping out and I found that they like having something they are responsible for. It's not 100% and they don't get grilled if the trash is not empty on time. I am pretty flexible. They all hate cleaning their rooms, but a reward system and some team work always seems to help. They all love helping cook and prepare meals, as well as working in the garden. Like I said it is not all 100% and I don't expect it to be and all I asked of them is to give it their best. Of course my 14 year old is learning to have more responsibility and the 5 year old is sometimes more helpful; sometimes I can not give him enough to do - He is always coming to me and asking Dad do you have something I can do? Things have changed alot and for part of the time it has been a struggle since my wife has started back to nursing school - Dad is learning too. Be patient and understanding and for the times you want to pull your hair out - just remember that is why God made washing machines (muddy days) =)))lol
Make a chart for them, decide what they can do to help, they get a treat when they do it and something taken away when they dont. You cant do it all yourself, you're no use to them if you're always tired out.
Are your kids safe, happy and fed? Then okay. You are on the right track. Try and set up a sticker board, kind of a points system, reward them with something, lets say they all make their own beds and clear the table, they would get a sticker for each chore. after 20 stickers promise them a treat, (night at the movies, a toy, alone time with mom or dad) Something they will work for. That will alleviate some of the house work.
welcome to motherhood! i gave my 3 kids each one chore they have to do everyday and that helps me out a little at the same time teaches them responsibility.
Oh do I know what you are going through! I went through this for so long. Last year, I had enough. My kids are 12, 10, and 4. I was trying to do it all myself and I couldn't anymore. Now, my kids all have a set thing to do. We rotate the choirs every week. (The 4 year old is in training though.....we are teaching him how to pick up his toys and he likes to follow along behind his big sister with a child size broom when she is sweeping.) One week one child might sweep, and rotate the laundry, while the other child does the dishes and takes out the garbage etc. They are also expected to pick up their dishes etc. after they eat and help with the kitchen. When they wouldn't pick up there things, I packed them up and put their things in the attic. When they show me that they can do their chores then I give them back the things I packed up. I do still fold the clothes, but they are expected to put theirs away neatly in their dresser. You just have to be consistent. They aren't going to want to do this all the time and who does, but they have to understand that a family works together.
Now, I have a clean house. I don't have nic-nacs and breakable things (that would be a disaster!) but we do have a clean house, and more time to enjoy ourselves after wards because of our team work !!
I think the other ppl's houses are clean be uz you are going over... Dont you clean when you know someone is coming over? I would say just lighten up about it and do the best you can! I bet you are a great mom and the fact that you have had FOUR already makes you a special person as well!!!
I have three @ 28, so I feel your pain... Be glad you arent 40 !!!!
I know where you are coming from. Most answers you have got is to get your little angels to help. They will not, why should they? Mummy will do it for them, she allways did. I say train them, get them into the habbit (believe me I am talking from experience here) There will be tantrums, tears and slammed doors but will worth in the end. I know thakes less time to just do it yourself but just stop doing things you know they can do at their age, your house will be a bigger mess (while the training period) but who cares? They will learn and they will do it. You have to take time to train them, never give up, it will do THEM a lot of good at the end of the day.
you have some good answers, you are doing an amazing job and yes other people might just clean when others come around or dedicate too much time to clean or even pay someone to do it. having the cleanest of the houses is not the most important thing is it? By the way, when do you have time to do your hair, nails, etc? remember, you need your ME time, sounds selfish but you deserve it. Children seem to love if they have good looking mums. I know mine does, sweet, isn't it? All in all, you are great, well done.
First off, forget everyone else. Everyone else is not raising four small children. Take a good look at what you can honestly accomplish in a day and still remain sane. Make it easy for the little ones to clean up. A friend of mine used baskets and plastic buckets, They aren't decoration but even the smallest child can throw a toy in a basket. I used to get up in the middle of the night (sleep pattern totally blown) and clean the house. It got done quickly and systmatically and then I could sleep when I went back to bed. I know your husband has his share of the responsibilitlies but you may want to have conversation about anything he can help you with. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and just shouldn't judge the condition of your home by what other people can do. Enjoy your babies while they are babies, you are giving them the greatest gift you can give....you.
My Mum had four girls. 4 years between me the oldest and the twins the youngest. She would be up an hour before us and did what she had to do. But from the minute we were old enough a rota was pinned up and we had to do chores. on a Sunday we chose music,, she handed us a cloth she put the music on full blast and we all did i the house work together and we loved it. she made doing chores fun.
Children like routine it will help you in the long run, if they don't lie it stop pocket money or take away privileges.
GOOD Luck
honey don't feel so bad we all have a hard time i am a mother of three 9yrs,6yrs and 3 years and i find my self in the same battle what i have done is i have each kid do one chore each like my 9 year old does the vac and my 6 year old picks up clothes and my 3 year ol help 's his brother and sister pick up toys and of course they have to tidy up there room i go in once a week for the big clean but they keep it tidy till then . and i give them 3.00 each allowance a week. and believe me it helps. and the kids like to make some extra money too.
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