I have not spoken to my mother in 8mo.?
Question: Has anyone been through this? Its not that we are'nt, or have not ever gotten along (shes my homegirl!). We've been through alot together, Divorces, moving alot, dysfunctional marriges. I accredit my strength and survival skills to her. But for some reason I have not spoken to her at all after leaving the nest for GOOD. Is this normal? At some point in development, do all of us just need time to grow without the security of our loved ones? I am a better person for it...still, I cant help but to feel like an a**hole.
Answers: That's weird, not normal if everything between you and her was alright or in your family in general.
But it could be normal, if there are things unspoken and if she likes you to stay dependent on her and she in turn makes her happiness dependant on you.
Sounds to me like she does, otherwise you would've called her or SHE would've called you.
You should feel like an assshole. WHat does talking or not talking to your mother have to do with leaving the nest? Call or go see your mother.
Sometimes, you need space, to find yourself, but if you don't have any real problems with her, you should get into contact with her, even if its just a card in the mail to let her know how you are doing.
How you treat your mom is how you would treat your girlfriend or wife. You better have a good relationship with your mom and you better love her. Not talking to her means that you don't value the relationship as much as you would like for us to think. Actions Speak Louder than Words. Do something......NOW!
Hey even if u are not with her anymore...doesnt mean that u dnt even talk to her...try to be in contact man...dats what u are for...be ther for ur mom...just like she has always been there for you.
Who's to say what normal is? It differs from one individual to another. Just the fact you're questioning your behavior tells me you know it isn't.
Speaking from experience....we raised our children to be self-sufficient, productive adults and tried to give them the tools to live their lives in a respectful way. The only thing we ask in return is for them to keep us informed on how well we did our jobs.
YOU haven't called HER in 8 months.....I'm wondering why she hasn't contacted you? Only you know the answer to that one.
The only sage advice I have for you is: no matter the circumstances or the reasons for no contact for 8 months, she gave you life and you seem to be enjoying it. CALL HER!!! If for no other reason than to thank her for that!
I didn't speak to my mother for SEVEN YEARS - BUT it was because she was an abusive alcoholic. I did it to survive. HOWEVER, if you and your mom are ok and have a good relationship - then you really need to contact her. Even if all you do is send her a thinking of you card once a month, just some sort of communication to let her know you think about her, and that you love her. You can even thank her for making you as strong as you are because of all you went through together - she would just LOVE to hear that, I promise you that. I am now 36 years old, and I regret not speaking to my mother EVEN though the circumstances were so bad, because she died at age 55 and I wasn't there while she was sick. I went to see her in the hospital, she was on life support, and she died that night right in front of me. Till this day, even though I know why I didn't speak to her for so long, even though I know it had to be that way in order for me to survive, even though she left permanent scars in my heart - she was still my mother, and I wish she were still here. Call your mom, go see her - it's normal for you to want your space to grow, but that growth comes from your base - your base being your mother and all she taught you. Contact her - tell her how you feel about her. Life is way too short.
Please contact your mother because your behavior is very selfish, cold and thoughtless. Money cannot take the place of your presence in her life but she will always be your mom and she deserves some sincere affection and appreciation. At least call her and let her know you're okay and you just need some time to be on your own but that you will connect with her sometime in the future. Let her know you are not angry with her nor feeling anything negative, it's just that you are at a place in your life where solitude is necessary. I'm sure she will understand and appreciate your honesty instead of wondering if you are hurt, homeless, in prison or dead.
I don't mean to frighten you but please don't wait until it's too late because it's really true that tomorrow is not promised to anyone .
Answers: That's weird, not normal if everything between you and her was alright or in your family in general.
But it could be normal, if there are things unspoken and if she likes you to stay dependent on her and she in turn makes her happiness dependant on you.
Sounds to me like she does, otherwise you would've called her or SHE would've called you.
You should feel like an assshole. WHat does talking or not talking to your mother have to do with leaving the nest? Call or go see your mother.
Sometimes, you need space, to find yourself, but if you don't have any real problems with her, you should get into contact with her, even if its just a card in the mail to let her know how you are doing.
How you treat your mom is how you would treat your girlfriend or wife. You better have a good relationship with your mom and you better love her. Not talking to her means that you don't value the relationship as much as you would like for us to think. Actions Speak Louder than Words. Do something......NOW!
Hey even if u are not with her anymore...doesnt mean that u dnt even talk to her...try to be in contact man...dats what u are for...be ther for ur mom...just like she has always been there for you.
Who's to say what normal is? It differs from one individual to another. Just the fact you're questioning your behavior tells me you know it isn't.
Speaking from experience....we raised our children to be self-sufficient, productive adults and tried to give them the tools to live their lives in a respectful way. The only thing we ask in return is for them to keep us informed on how well we did our jobs.
YOU haven't called HER in 8 months.....I'm wondering why she hasn't contacted you? Only you know the answer to that one.
The only sage advice I have for you is: no matter the circumstances or the reasons for no contact for 8 months, she gave you life and you seem to be enjoying it. CALL HER!!! If for no other reason than to thank her for that!
I didn't speak to my mother for SEVEN YEARS - BUT it was because she was an abusive alcoholic. I did it to survive. HOWEVER, if you and your mom are ok and have a good relationship - then you really need to contact her. Even if all you do is send her a thinking of you card once a month, just some sort of communication to let her know you think about her, and that you love her. You can even thank her for making you as strong as you are because of all you went through together - she would just LOVE to hear that, I promise you that. I am now 36 years old, and I regret not speaking to my mother EVEN though the circumstances were so bad, because she died at age 55 and I wasn't there while she was sick. I went to see her in the hospital, she was on life support, and she died that night right in front of me. Till this day, even though I know why I didn't speak to her for so long, even though I know it had to be that way in order for me to survive, even though she left permanent scars in my heart - she was still my mother, and I wish she were still here. Call your mom, go see her - it's normal for you to want your space to grow, but that growth comes from your base - your base being your mother and all she taught you. Contact her - tell her how you feel about her. Life is way too short.
Please contact your mother because your behavior is very selfish, cold and thoughtless. Money cannot take the place of your presence in her life but she will always be your mom and she deserves some sincere affection and appreciation. At least call her and let her know you're okay and you just need some time to be on your own but that you will connect with her sometime in the future. Let her know you are not angry with her nor feeling anything negative, it's just that you are at a place in your life where solitude is necessary. I'm sure she will understand and appreciate your honesty instead of wondering if you are hurt, homeless, in prison or dead.
I don't mean to frighten you but please don't wait until it's too late because it's really true that tomorrow is not promised to anyone .
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