Should i have to put up with this?
Question: well my mum and my 4 yr old brother have come from interstate and are staying for a week and this is one of the first times ive spoken to them for a few years now due to a fight,now the problem im having is that she is divorced but is seeing this guy for the past 3 yrs and he just decides to turn up at my house uninvited and stay for a few days with her witch i regregtably accepted(what can i do if ppl invite themselves) anywayz they just decided to start making plans to go out, to dinner,concerts etc and just expect me to mind my brother without even asking me first and tonight they have gone out for dinner but just dumped him on me,with a shitty nappy(he is only half toilet trained) and on the way out they attempted to change him but then the taxi came so they dropped everything and ran for it,and said oh well he is ur brother after all u fix it,then ran off,without telling me what time they'd be back,now i have a 2 yr old myself who needs looking after do u think this is fair on me
Answers: I FIRST WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR THE CAPS, BUT LISTEN TO ME, I AM PUTTING THIS IN CAPS FOR A REASON, GET THEM OUT NOW! THEY ARE USERS AND IF YOU LEND HIM YOUR CAR AND HE WRECKS IT, YOU ARE SCREWED. THE INSURANCE WON'T PAY BECAUSE HIS NAME ISN'T ON THE POLICY. TELL MUM, HUBBY AND SON THEY GOTS TO GO, THEY ARE CLEARLY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND ARE INCREDIBLY SELFISH. YOU SOUND LIKE A DECENT PERSON AND BLOOD SUCKERS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DECENT PEOPLE SUCH AS YOUR SELF. HAVE THEM OUT BY TONIGHT OR TOMORROW, CALL THE AUTHORITIES IF NEED BE. THEY DON'T APPRECIATE YOU AND TAKE MORE AND MORE ADVANTAGE AND WILL SEE HOW FAR THEY CAN TAKE UNTIL YOU HAVE NOTHING AND YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FAMILY TO CARE FOR. MOM SOUNDS INCREDIBLY SELFISH SHE SHOULD BE BABYSITTING FOR YOU!
GOOD LUCK AND AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CAPS.
Absolutely not however your Mother has always beent his way. Stand up to her and ask her why she came to visit you but goes out with you and your family.? I would think that if she was there for a real visit she would spend her time with you!
you should deff tell them how you feel
First off, I would change that diaper. Next thing I would do is ask them to leave your home and find themselves a hotel because as your guests what they did was rude, inconsiderate and unacceptable. If this is your mother's way of mending your relationship, you are probably better off without her.
WELL PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HELP YOUR MUM
THEN AGHAIN YOU COULD CONTINUE TO BE SELFISH AND ONLY WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN HAPPINESS ?
Oh, that's easily solved. Just as the cab gets there, you say oh, you never said anything about my watching little Hellspawn. I have plans. Guess you'll have to take him along.
Many times when someone takes advantage of you, it's because you allowed it to occur.
Tell them don't make plans unless they have a sitter, and your not it.
Thats not on, if i were you just tell them you have plans every night for the rest of the time they are staying, you have to put your foot down, looks like they may have planned it, they want a holiday...somewhere cheap to stay and time out without your little brother, sorry to say it but i think they may just be using you. Show them the door
Your mother and her new man are being very rude. They would probably consider you rude for complaining as well. You will hear stuff like, I raised you, where is the gratitude? You have probably already heard it. Tell her to haul her **** and your brother home and out of your house.
It sounds awful. Your mistake was allowing someone you never met to come stay at your house. People try to push this on me from time to time and I always say no. I cannot open my home to someone I never met... I just don't fee comfortable with it. Even the ones I have met, half the time I don't want them. You are being disrespected. You did say your mom's bf could come but now you can change your mind. Try not to raise your voice or get into an argument. Simply write a clear note or announce that you would like to make some new arrangements. You and your child come first and evidently you are not going to get the respect you deserve unless you clearly define some borders.
no. she should have said something about him and that he was coming.
No, it's not fair of your mom to do that to you, but he's your brother and he needs someone to care for him. Your mom will be gone soon. Afterwards, you will have time to reflect and learn your lessons and you will know what to do next time around.
No of course not. I suggest you find some way to get them out of there and then really cut the ties. They sound like a couple of irresponsible losers. You might want to contact child protection about the 4 year old's situation. It will cause a fight but it sounds like a messy situation already. Good luck.....
Indeed this was very inconsiderate and down right RUDE of your Mum....as to the boyfriend I realize you did not wish to offend your Mum but obviously she did not care about offending you...she assumed and that is a no-no anyplace or time. I suggest that you sit your Mum down, in private, and take a hard line by telling her the TRUTH about what you feel and think, otherwise you allow a pattern to be establish that in time will lead to a more serious conflict between you and she.
When you get old, you will have fond memories of the times you had too many toddlers. You're likely to end up alone with nothing but memories. Your brother might be the only one who visits you. Give him your love now, and he will give you his when you're old. It's a huge bargain.
No it is not fair or respectful to you, being this is your home. Now if it was your moms then I could understand. But since it is'nt your moms home she needs to respect it. Your mom should have given you the opportunity to say yes or no before just dropping your brother off on you and tell you what time she was coming back. Now how I would handle is, I would call her off to the side and say Mom I see you are having a great time and I don't want that to end, but you can not trap me with my brother everytime you want to do something. I don't mind sometimes but let me decide when. I love you and I will help you find a sitter if needed, but I feel that you need to seek other options. Now as for your boyfriend, I am a young woman with a kid and I don't want to wake up to seeing your boyfriend. Please have enough respect for us to go to a motel or hotel. Visiting is okay. Staying is a NO WAY!
Youj're going to have to be more assertive. The next time they make plans and assume you'll be watching your brother say I'm sorry I have plans and won't be able to watch my brother, but I assume you've made arrangements for his care since you didn't check with me. Have fun! and walk away. Get your two year old ready and leave even if you really don't have plans. Take your child anywhere (to the park, shopping, zoo, etc.) and come back later. If they start to question you about it tell them you have a few sitters they can call, but don't know if they'll be available on such short notice. They'll get the hint. I can't imagine coming to stay at a friend or relatives house and making plans to go places without inviting them and paying for child care. Usually guests treat their host/hostess to a meal or outing as a thank you for having them stay at your home. Be polite, calm and strong. Good Luck!
hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm family issues........there are lots of it, of varying degree....i just had one myself. if you are having a kid of your own now and have your own family to attend to, and so thus your mom. she should be taking care of her son too and not going around town like a 16 yr old, dating. of course she deserves to be happy and should date but not at anyones' expense. she should be responsible enough and not pass her chores to you. No u dont have to put up with it. talk to her in the morning. be straight with her, she should be ashamed!...
I can see why you have not spoken to them for years...your mom is a taker and minimal sense of decency. Children sometimes are quite thoughtless, and so are parents. Your story made me think of the past, thinking have I ever done something similar to my mom or anyone else..perhaps I did. We have to be constantly vigilant that we don't trample and abuse other's space, goodwill, and love.
It's unfortunate, whether its fair or not, you are essential stuck with it...consider it your gift for the year...and a lesson learned. Be tougher next time.
yup that's definitely not fair but if you think again, if no one took care of your 2 year old brother, who will, though i'm not in your position i understand how irritating it is. but, who will be the saddest part ? i think it will be your brother, when you were in his position, how do you feel ? no one cares, nobody to hang on. when you were on his age, you still feel the love of a complete parents, think about him, since two years of his age, his being dumped from this place to that place. if its not you who took care of this poor little boy, who will?
your mom ? hmm...... i think you should talk more louder about the RESPONSIBILITIES.
if your mom really wanted to spend time with you she wouldn't be out running around. It sounds to me like they wanted a mini-vacation and couldn't get anyone else to watch the kid. why else would her man just up and invite himself to stay at your house. (that is just so incredibly rude)
they are using you and don't seem to mind doing it either. as long as you let it continue they will continue to enjoy themselves.
and since they ARE enjoying themselves so much at your expense, you have to ask yourself how soon will they be back to do it again?
find out what she really wants,and for the new guy in her life tell him he needs to go and he can spend time with her once she gets back home.
your little brother can't help what mom is doing so please don't take it out on him,he's just a baby himself.
your mom needs to wake up and take responsibility on the baby and forget the guy.the guy should be her LAST worry.family is very precious and shouldn't be 2nd on the list.blow that guy out and tell her to wake up.if she don't want the baby she needs to make arrangements and live her life with that guy or who ever.
just try to be patience and let her know what you are expecting
and if she don't like it show her the door,it's your house and your life .you have your family and it's hard to take on another family especially if it's a drop in. good luck
No, I don't think it's fair on you. I don't think it's fair on your 4yr old brother either. I have a half brother but I refer to him as my 'brother'. If I was in your shoes I would try to get to know my brother as much as I could. I'd try to give him attention and a nice time as he probably doesn't get a lot of attention with your mum and her partner. It says something that he isn't toilet trained at 4! I feel sorry for the poor kid.
However, I don't think you should put up with this if you don't want too. You should tell your mum that she should respect you and the fact that you have enough on your plate. If she gets offended well that's just too bad. You are a grown up now and you have your own life to live. Good luck and take care.
Answers: I FIRST WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR THE CAPS, BUT LISTEN TO ME, I AM PUTTING THIS IN CAPS FOR A REASON, GET THEM OUT NOW! THEY ARE USERS AND IF YOU LEND HIM YOUR CAR AND HE WRECKS IT, YOU ARE SCREWED. THE INSURANCE WON'T PAY BECAUSE HIS NAME ISN'T ON THE POLICY. TELL MUM, HUBBY AND SON THEY GOTS TO GO, THEY ARE CLEARLY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND ARE INCREDIBLY SELFISH. YOU SOUND LIKE A DECENT PERSON AND BLOOD SUCKERS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DECENT PEOPLE SUCH AS YOUR SELF. HAVE THEM OUT BY TONIGHT OR TOMORROW, CALL THE AUTHORITIES IF NEED BE. THEY DON'T APPRECIATE YOU AND TAKE MORE AND MORE ADVANTAGE AND WILL SEE HOW FAR THEY CAN TAKE UNTIL YOU HAVE NOTHING AND YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FAMILY TO CARE FOR. MOM SOUNDS INCREDIBLY SELFISH SHE SHOULD BE BABYSITTING FOR YOU!
GOOD LUCK AND AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CAPS.
Absolutely not however your Mother has always beent his way. Stand up to her and ask her why she came to visit you but goes out with you and your family.? I would think that if she was there for a real visit she would spend her time with you!
you should deff tell them how you feel
First off, I would change that diaper. Next thing I would do is ask them to leave your home and find themselves a hotel because as your guests what they did was rude, inconsiderate and unacceptable. If this is your mother's way of mending your relationship, you are probably better off without her.
WELL PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HELP YOUR MUM
THEN AGHAIN YOU COULD CONTINUE TO BE SELFISH AND ONLY WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN HAPPINESS ?
Oh, that's easily solved. Just as the cab gets there, you say oh, you never said anything about my watching little Hellspawn. I have plans. Guess you'll have to take him along.
Many times when someone takes advantage of you, it's because you allowed it to occur.
Tell them don't make plans unless they have a sitter, and your not it.
Thats not on, if i were you just tell them you have plans every night for the rest of the time they are staying, you have to put your foot down, looks like they may have planned it, they want a holiday...somewhere cheap to stay and time out without your little brother, sorry to say it but i think they may just be using you. Show them the door
Your mother and her new man are being very rude. They would probably consider you rude for complaining as well. You will hear stuff like, I raised you, where is the gratitude? You have probably already heard it. Tell her to haul her **** and your brother home and out of your house.
It sounds awful. Your mistake was allowing someone you never met to come stay at your house. People try to push this on me from time to time and I always say no. I cannot open my home to someone I never met... I just don't fee comfortable with it. Even the ones I have met, half the time I don't want them. You are being disrespected. You did say your mom's bf could come but now you can change your mind. Try not to raise your voice or get into an argument. Simply write a clear note or announce that you would like to make some new arrangements. You and your child come first and evidently you are not going to get the respect you deserve unless you clearly define some borders.
no. she should have said something about him and that he was coming.
No, it's not fair of your mom to do that to you, but he's your brother and he needs someone to care for him. Your mom will be gone soon. Afterwards, you will have time to reflect and learn your lessons and you will know what to do next time around.
No of course not. I suggest you find some way to get them out of there and then really cut the ties. They sound like a couple of irresponsible losers. You might want to contact child protection about the 4 year old's situation. It will cause a fight but it sounds like a messy situation already. Good luck.....
Indeed this was very inconsiderate and down right RUDE of your Mum....as to the boyfriend I realize you did not wish to offend your Mum but obviously she did not care about offending you...she assumed and that is a no-no anyplace or time. I suggest that you sit your Mum down, in private, and take a hard line by telling her the TRUTH about what you feel and think, otherwise you allow a pattern to be establish that in time will lead to a more serious conflict between you and she.
When you get old, you will have fond memories of the times you had too many toddlers. You're likely to end up alone with nothing but memories. Your brother might be the only one who visits you. Give him your love now, and he will give you his when you're old. It's a huge bargain.
No it is not fair or respectful to you, being this is your home. Now if it was your moms then I could understand. But since it is'nt your moms home she needs to respect it. Your mom should have given you the opportunity to say yes or no before just dropping your brother off on you and tell you what time she was coming back. Now how I would handle is, I would call her off to the side and say Mom I see you are having a great time and I don't want that to end, but you can not trap me with my brother everytime you want to do something. I don't mind sometimes but let me decide when. I love you and I will help you find a sitter if needed, but I feel that you need to seek other options. Now as for your boyfriend, I am a young woman with a kid and I don't want to wake up to seeing your boyfriend. Please have enough respect for us to go to a motel or hotel. Visiting is okay. Staying is a NO WAY!
Youj're going to have to be more assertive. The next time they make plans and assume you'll be watching your brother say I'm sorry I have plans and won't be able to watch my brother, but I assume you've made arrangements for his care since you didn't check with me. Have fun! and walk away. Get your two year old ready and leave even if you really don't have plans. Take your child anywhere (to the park, shopping, zoo, etc.) and come back later. If they start to question you about it tell them you have a few sitters they can call, but don't know if they'll be available on such short notice. They'll get the hint. I can't imagine coming to stay at a friend or relatives house and making plans to go places without inviting them and paying for child care. Usually guests treat their host/hostess to a meal or outing as a thank you for having them stay at your home. Be polite, calm and strong. Good Luck!
hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm family issues........there are lots of it, of varying degree....i just had one myself. if you are having a kid of your own now and have your own family to attend to, and so thus your mom. she should be taking care of her son too and not going around town like a 16 yr old, dating. of course she deserves to be happy and should date but not at anyones' expense. she should be responsible enough and not pass her chores to you. No u dont have to put up with it. talk to her in the morning. be straight with her, she should be ashamed!...
I can see why you have not spoken to them for years...your mom is a taker and minimal sense of decency. Children sometimes are quite thoughtless, and so are parents. Your story made me think of the past, thinking have I ever done something similar to my mom or anyone else..perhaps I did. We have to be constantly vigilant that we don't trample and abuse other's space, goodwill, and love.
It's unfortunate, whether its fair or not, you are essential stuck with it...consider it your gift for the year...and a lesson learned. Be tougher next time.
yup that's definitely not fair but if you think again, if no one took care of your 2 year old brother, who will, though i'm not in your position i understand how irritating it is. but, who will be the saddest part ? i think it will be your brother, when you were in his position, how do you feel ? no one cares, nobody to hang on. when you were on his age, you still feel the love of a complete parents, think about him, since two years of his age, his being dumped from this place to that place. if its not you who took care of this poor little boy, who will?
your mom ? hmm...... i think you should talk more louder about the RESPONSIBILITIES.
if your mom really wanted to spend time with you she wouldn't be out running around. It sounds to me like they wanted a mini-vacation and couldn't get anyone else to watch the kid. why else would her man just up and invite himself to stay at your house. (that is just so incredibly rude)
they are using you and don't seem to mind doing it either. as long as you let it continue they will continue to enjoy themselves.
and since they ARE enjoying themselves so much at your expense, you have to ask yourself how soon will they be back to do it again?
find out what she really wants,and for the new guy in her life tell him he needs to go and he can spend time with her once she gets back home.
your little brother can't help what mom is doing so please don't take it out on him,he's just a baby himself.
your mom needs to wake up and take responsibility on the baby and forget the guy.the guy should be her LAST worry.family is very precious and shouldn't be 2nd on the list.blow that guy out and tell her to wake up.if she don't want the baby she needs to make arrangements and live her life with that guy or who ever.
just try to be patience and let her know what you are expecting
and if she don't like it show her the door,it's your house and your life .you have your family and it's hard to take on another family especially if it's a drop in. good luck
No, I don't think it's fair on you. I don't think it's fair on your 4yr old brother either. I have a half brother but I refer to him as my 'brother'. If I was in your shoes I would try to get to know my brother as much as I could. I'd try to give him attention and a nice time as he probably doesn't get a lot of attention with your mum and her partner. It says something that he isn't toilet trained at 4! I feel sorry for the poor kid.
However, I don't think you should put up with this if you don't want too. You should tell your mum that she should respect you and the fact that you have enough on your plate. If she gets offended well that's just too bad. You are a grown up now and you have your own life to live. Good luck and take care.
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