Adopted and have a question. Important to me.?
Question: I want to find my real parents but i know nothing about them. I have no idea what they look like or who they are! I want to find them real bad. In school we are talking about genetics and i feel left out because i am the only kid who can't do the projects or the worksheet i have to do for homework this weekend. It is all about what your parents look like and what trait they gave you. I can't fill out what my adopted parents look like because that is a lie and i am strongly against lying. but i don't want to tell my teacher.
Answers: I am adopted also, from South Korea. I don't agree with what one of the people who made a previous comment saying, Your adoptive parents are your real parents, why bother with people who don't care? or something like that. I TOTALLY agree that your adoptive parents are your real parents, but I DON'T agree that your birth parents didn't care. They obviously cared about your life enough not to have an abortion. They wanted you to have a better life that what they could offer you. That's the ONLY reason people put babies up for adoption. Why else go through the pain and heartbreak of having a baby, only to give her up?
Anyway, you should definitely tell your teacher, in private. If you really feel like you can't tell her, then maybe you can make up a 'fantasy story' in your head, like what you've always thought your traits come from. I've done that before - I think I got my eyes from my birth mom, but my birth dad's eyes made them a little wider than normal, and so on. It's not lying - it's simply doing the best you can with the situation.
If you contact the social worker who placed you, they may (with your adoptive parents' consent) give you contact details. However, if you explain the circumstances to your teacher, I am sure you will be exempt.
Well maybe you can do a different project. Are you sure you're emotionally ready for all that getting to meet your bioligical parents will bring? It may be tough on you.
The people that raised you are your parents why go looking for someone that don't care.
First thing is this. If you see your adopted mother and father as your true parents, then it isn't lieing to use them for your school project. The second thing is have your adoption records opened, and you may need a lawyer to do this.
Sweetie, you are going to have to tell your teacher & do the project the best you can with the parents you have, the parents who chose you, who didn't have to adopt you but wanted you enough to love you & take care of you. Just use their traits.
let your creative thought flow and go ahead and try to do the project the best you can for now... just to get this behind you... being adopted there are going to be times that things like this are going to pop up and like this time you don't want to have to explain any details and you should have to... soon i hope you get to find your birth parents... I think this is important... my best friend was adopted and I remember when she located her dad she made me make the first call and when she got on the phone it her dad for the firat time it sent chills all ove me... sorry I got off track with my answer it was I just wanted to let you know that I had wh=ent through this with my best friend... good luck...
Go ahead and fill out your report with your adopted parents genetics and worry about the real genetics later. If the teacher even pays that much attention to the information you write down and questions it, just tell him/her if there are any questions to call your parents because that is who your 'parents' are!! ;)
Well, you should tell your teacher, because she should have never given an asignment like this. She should allow you to opt out of it if you explain yourself. If she is not reasonable, then go to a principle or guidance counselor who will keep your secret private while addressing it with your teacher. Then talk to your adopted parents about learning about your real family. You shouldn't feel embarrased about decisions your parents made. Believe it or not but there are alot more people out there with similar situations than you think. You are not alone.
I can understand you wanting to find them kid, but here's a little warning if you decide to do it. It may not be a happy reunion. I've read of similar experiences of people in your situations, and they had the doors slammed in their faces. One girl's real mother told her that she was the result of a one night stand when the mother was in her early teens. She gave her up for adoption, and never told her current husband about it. She was now happily married with kids, wanted it to stay that way, and told the daughter to get the hell out of there and never return.
I wish schools would be more sensitive to people in situations like yours when they give out such assignments. Tell your teacher about your adoption, and see if there is something else he/she can assign to you instead. Take care of yourself kid! God Bless!
After 1969 I believe all adoption were closed and information is off limits. First things tell your teacher you are adopted and the only information you have is on your adopted parents. So you are not lying when you fill them out. I am adopted too and I had to do the same things when I was in school. Teachers can be very understanding about these things. But if you are really serious about finding these things out. The social worker or lawyer can direct you on how to locate your birth parents with your parents permission. Just remember that the birth parent has the right to deny you all information.
tell your teacher the truth i am sure she will assign you a different project.
You might not be the only kid in the class that can't anser the questions. Also, some things you can know you got through genetics such as complexion and hair and eye color. Actually, what your birth parents gave you were your current parents. I think the bigger question is why you don't want to tell your teacher. Perhaps you are really wondering about your birth parents and this assignment is just bringing out that curiosity. If you do decide to come out about your adoptive status, know this...bold answers to assignments, especially if they are interesting and creative, usually score big grades.
maybe you should tell your teacher about your adoption, and at the same time let her know that the assignment isnt really such a smart idea. maybe she will wise up and change her plans when it comes to subjects like this. you could save a lot of other kids from going thru this same situation!
Definitely talk to your adoptive parents about helping you. In the mean time you can complete your project based on the non physical traits your adoptive parents gave you. Maybe you didn't get the bright green eyes, or the shiny blonde hair, but most likely they have taught you somthing of value.
sound like you would need the information fast so finding your real parents would take along time, its a long process. So anyway sense it is for school and it is home work that needs tobe done now, then i say you talk to your parents now that adopted you ! They are your parents, they love you and are rasing you as there own, so you would not be lieing to any one if you use them in your home work project !! You can still have things about you that you got from them , just by being around them all the years and you most likey laugh or talk like your mom now! I say go to your parents now and see what they suggest!! They are your parents and they are there to help with this kind of stuff !! you can always try and find your other mom later, and maybe your parents will even help you find them !! you don't know to you try !!
first of all you did not tell us how old you are. i am guessing you are old enough to be on the computer at this hour and smart enough to ask this question! AAH. honey, does this really bother you ? go and talk to your mom and dad. i am sure that either your teacher knows the situation and is trying to see your outlook or maybe she does not. but in either case it is ok! because when you feel upset about this you can go and see your parents about your feelings. remember they love you and they will listen and guide you through your problems or confusion! because they love you and will always be there for you ! good luck. i know my son is adopted and he means the world to me, as do you to your parents!
I don't know the circumstances of why you were put up for adoption. I do know that the people who adopted you wanted a child very much or they wouldn't have adopted you. The people who raised you are your parents so use their traits and genetics. It is not lieing. I was adopted too. It was only hard on me when I went to the doctors and have to fill out the forms that ask if any body in my family has a certain illness (heart desease, diabeties, etc.) Other than that I am very happy and love my parents as if they were my biological parents because to me they are.
Answers: I am adopted also, from South Korea. I don't agree with what one of the people who made a previous comment saying, Your adoptive parents are your real parents, why bother with people who don't care? or something like that. I TOTALLY agree that your adoptive parents are your real parents, but I DON'T agree that your birth parents didn't care. They obviously cared about your life enough not to have an abortion. They wanted you to have a better life that what they could offer you. That's the ONLY reason people put babies up for adoption. Why else go through the pain and heartbreak of having a baby, only to give her up?
Anyway, you should definitely tell your teacher, in private. If you really feel like you can't tell her, then maybe you can make up a 'fantasy story' in your head, like what you've always thought your traits come from. I've done that before - I think I got my eyes from my birth mom, but my birth dad's eyes made them a little wider than normal, and so on. It's not lying - it's simply doing the best you can with the situation.
If you contact the social worker who placed you, they may (with your adoptive parents' consent) give you contact details. However, if you explain the circumstances to your teacher, I am sure you will be exempt.
Well maybe you can do a different project. Are you sure you're emotionally ready for all that getting to meet your bioligical parents will bring? It may be tough on you.
The people that raised you are your parents why go looking for someone that don't care.
First thing is this. If you see your adopted mother and father as your true parents, then it isn't lieing to use them for your school project. The second thing is have your adoption records opened, and you may need a lawyer to do this.
Sweetie, you are going to have to tell your teacher & do the project the best you can with the parents you have, the parents who chose you, who didn't have to adopt you but wanted you enough to love you & take care of you. Just use their traits.
let your creative thought flow and go ahead and try to do the project the best you can for now... just to get this behind you... being adopted there are going to be times that things like this are going to pop up and like this time you don't want to have to explain any details and you should have to... soon i hope you get to find your birth parents... I think this is important... my best friend was adopted and I remember when she located her dad she made me make the first call and when she got on the phone it her dad for the firat time it sent chills all ove me... sorry I got off track with my answer it was I just wanted to let you know that I had wh=ent through this with my best friend... good luck...
Go ahead and fill out your report with your adopted parents genetics and worry about the real genetics later. If the teacher even pays that much attention to the information you write down and questions it, just tell him/her if there are any questions to call your parents because that is who your 'parents' are!! ;)
Well, you should tell your teacher, because she should have never given an asignment like this. She should allow you to opt out of it if you explain yourself. If she is not reasonable, then go to a principle or guidance counselor who will keep your secret private while addressing it with your teacher. Then talk to your adopted parents about learning about your real family. You shouldn't feel embarrased about decisions your parents made. Believe it or not but there are alot more people out there with similar situations than you think. You are not alone.
I can understand you wanting to find them kid, but here's a little warning if you decide to do it. It may not be a happy reunion. I've read of similar experiences of people in your situations, and they had the doors slammed in their faces. One girl's real mother told her that she was the result of a one night stand when the mother was in her early teens. She gave her up for adoption, and never told her current husband about it. She was now happily married with kids, wanted it to stay that way, and told the daughter to get the hell out of there and never return.
I wish schools would be more sensitive to people in situations like yours when they give out such assignments. Tell your teacher about your adoption, and see if there is something else he/she can assign to you instead. Take care of yourself kid! God Bless!
After 1969 I believe all adoption were closed and information is off limits. First things tell your teacher you are adopted and the only information you have is on your adopted parents. So you are not lying when you fill them out. I am adopted too and I had to do the same things when I was in school. Teachers can be very understanding about these things. But if you are really serious about finding these things out. The social worker or lawyer can direct you on how to locate your birth parents with your parents permission. Just remember that the birth parent has the right to deny you all information.
tell your teacher the truth i am sure she will assign you a different project.
You might not be the only kid in the class that can't anser the questions. Also, some things you can know you got through genetics such as complexion and hair and eye color. Actually, what your birth parents gave you were your current parents. I think the bigger question is why you don't want to tell your teacher. Perhaps you are really wondering about your birth parents and this assignment is just bringing out that curiosity. If you do decide to come out about your adoptive status, know this...bold answers to assignments, especially if they are interesting and creative, usually score big grades.
maybe you should tell your teacher about your adoption, and at the same time let her know that the assignment isnt really such a smart idea. maybe she will wise up and change her plans when it comes to subjects like this. you could save a lot of other kids from going thru this same situation!
Definitely talk to your adoptive parents about helping you. In the mean time you can complete your project based on the non physical traits your adoptive parents gave you. Maybe you didn't get the bright green eyes, or the shiny blonde hair, but most likely they have taught you somthing of value.
sound like you would need the information fast so finding your real parents would take along time, its a long process. So anyway sense it is for school and it is home work that needs tobe done now, then i say you talk to your parents now that adopted you ! They are your parents, they love you and are rasing you as there own, so you would not be lieing to any one if you use them in your home work project !! You can still have things about you that you got from them , just by being around them all the years and you most likey laugh or talk like your mom now! I say go to your parents now and see what they suggest!! They are your parents and they are there to help with this kind of stuff !! you can always try and find your other mom later, and maybe your parents will even help you find them !! you don't know to you try !!
first of all you did not tell us how old you are. i am guessing you are old enough to be on the computer at this hour and smart enough to ask this question! AAH. honey, does this really bother you ? go and talk to your mom and dad. i am sure that either your teacher knows the situation and is trying to see your outlook or maybe she does not. but in either case it is ok! because when you feel upset about this you can go and see your parents about your feelings. remember they love you and they will listen and guide you through your problems or confusion! because they love you and will always be there for you ! good luck. i know my son is adopted and he means the world to me, as do you to your parents!
I don't know the circumstances of why you were put up for adoption. I do know that the people who adopted you wanted a child very much or they wouldn't have adopted you. The people who raised you are your parents so use their traits and genetics. It is not lieing. I was adopted too. It was only hard on me when I went to the doctors and have to fill out the forms that ask if any body in my family has a certain illness (heart desease, diabeties, etc.) Other than that I am very happy and love my parents as if they were my biological parents because to me they are.
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