Family issues????
Question: how do i get my family to not auction everything in my grandfathers house?They call me greedy if i say i want that ..i'm not greedy,i just dont want everything auctioned off..i want it to stay in the family!Please help!
Answers: Your greedy? Ha, I beg to differ. It sounds as though they are. Here they are auctioning off grandpa's life and he's not even in the ground yet. What about his feelings? Has anyone asked him what he wants to keep?
I know you are battling this by yourself, and I know that it's going to seem like this makes no sense, but I went through this with my sibings when I lost my mother. I wanted to keep everything because it had a memory attached to it. Which I'm sure, you are probably doing. Having those memories is great honey, but the physical object that goes along with them, neither takes away or improves that memory. It's in your heart, in your mind, not in the object. Find a few things of grandpa's that would be good to hand down through the generations. Ask grandpa what he would like to see handed down, and go from there. Otherwise you are going to find yourself surrounded by a bunch of old things, holding on to the past, while the present passes you by. My heart goes out to you and be glad grandpa is still around to ask these questions to. I never had that opportunity with my mom.
Something to remember him by is fine. The rest has to go
ask anyone else in the family if they want anything, and sit everyone down or at least call them and tell them what you want to keep, if it's not possible to keep everything try to keep the sentimental things and pass it down from generation to generation and auction the rest of it. if a auction is what your gf wanted, please respect his wishes. but if it isn't, then there is always room for negotiation.
tell them thing you want ok
Get what you love and want to keep as a memory forever - let them know. The rest you can't stop them to sale.
You cant make anyone do something they dont want to.
Have you explained that these items have a sentimental value??
If you did then the greed lies with your family. But be smart and dont lose your family over material items. Remember Grandpa for who he was not for what he has. Good memories are held deep in the Heart.
GREEDY? It sounds like they are greedy for the auction proceeds. I hate to think it, but if you really want some items to stay, you might try offering money to them for the items. Hopefully they understand you want it for the sentimental reasons, not financial. Best of luck to you.
Maybe they are doing that to pay off bills or debts. Sure keep some things for a family pass on down the line but you do have to let go of somethings. This sounds like it is really hard on you .I pray that God gives you the peace you need to love & let go for grandpa's sake & your own.
explain to them its not about money. you want to keep things cause they remind you of your childhood and you want to hold on to something that renids you of him
tell them clear cut you donn't want grandpa things to auctioned. you are not greeady of it financially but emotionally. if they don't listen keep one of grandpa stuff for yourself 4 that emotional bond, come what may don't let anybody take it from you.if not all then atleast one might be saved.
Will the benefits from such an auction be added to the families financial fund? That surely shifts the greed pointer doesn't it? Request a few specific pieces only. I'm sure your grandfather wouldn't want everyone fighting over mortal possessions.
~~~Im sorry you have to be there and watch your grandfather sell his belongings,,,,,do you know why the rest of the family is selling his things,,,,the only thing I can think of is: Is your grandfather going to be going into a nursing home,,,,does the family have to sell his things to help pay for it.?? As far as you not wanting to sell his things,,,unfourtunaly it looks like your family is not going to listen to you,,,ask if you could have just a few things that are very sentimental to you,,,Im sure they would abide your wishes,,,,,
I truley understand your pain of seperation,,, ~~~
basically tell them things that has sentimental value to you and if possible, dont sell things that has memories no matter big or small. come such a time you'll remember those things and where you got them :)
Well you should just tell them that they should keep as much stuff as possable in the family to remind you of your grandpa cause i know i would keep all the stuff i could.
Tell ur family that u want 2 have somthing 2 remember ur grandfather or the house he is moving out of by..But u shouldn't have 2 many things 2 remember by.
Answers: Your greedy? Ha, I beg to differ. It sounds as though they are. Here they are auctioning off grandpa's life and he's not even in the ground yet. What about his feelings? Has anyone asked him what he wants to keep?
I know you are battling this by yourself, and I know that it's going to seem like this makes no sense, but I went through this with my sibings when I lost my mother. I wanted to keep everything because it had a memory attached to it. Which I'm sure, you are probably doing. Having those memories is great honey, but the physical object that goes along with them, neither takes away or improves that memory. It's in your heart, in your mind, not in the object. Find a few things of grandpa's that would be good to hand down through the generations. Ask grandpa what he would like to see handed down, and go from there. Otherwise you are going to find yourself surrounded by a bunch of old things, holding on to the past, while the present passes you by. My heart goes out to you and be glad grandpa is still around to ask these questions to. I never had that opportunity with my mom.
Something to remember him by is fine. The rest has to go
ask anyone else in the family if they want anything, and sit everyone down or at least call them and tell them what you want to keep, if it's not possible to keep everything try to keep the sentimental things and pass it down from generation to generation and auction the rest of it. if a auction is what your gf wanted, please respect his wishes. but if it isn't, then there is always room for negotiation.
tell them thing you want ok
Get what you love and want to keep as a memory forever - let them know. The rest you can't stop them to sale.
You cant make anyone do something they dont want to.
Have you explained that these items have a sentimental value??
If you did then the greed lies with your family. But be smart and dont lose your family over material items. Remember Grandpa for who he was not for what he has. Good memories are held deep in the Heart.
GREEDY? It sounds like they are greedy for the auction proceeds. I hate to think it, but if you really want some items to stay, you might try offering money to them for the items. Hopefully they understand you want it for the sentimental reasons, not financial. Best of luck to you.
Maybe they are doing that to pay off bills or debts. Sure keep some things for a family pass on down the line but you do have to let go of somethings. This sounds like it is really hard on you .I pray that God gives you the peace you need to love & let go for grandpa's sake & your own.
explain to them its not about money. you want to keep things cause they remind you of your childhood and you want to hold on to something that renids you of him
tell them clear cut you donn't want grandpa things to auctioned. you are not greeady of it financially but emotionally. if they don't listen keep one of grandpa stuff for yourself 4 that emotional bond, come what may don't let anybody take it from you.if not all then atleast one might be saved.
Will the benefits from such an auction be added to the families financial fund? That surely shifts the greed pointer doesn't it? Request a few specific pieces only. I'm sure your grandfather wouldn't want everyone fighting over mortal possessions.
~~~Im sorry you have to be there and watch your grandfather sell his belongings,,,,,do you know why the rest of the family is selling his things,,,,the only thing I can think of is: Is your grandfather going to be going into a nursing home,,,,does the family have to sell his things to help pay for it.?? As far as you not wanting to sell his things,,,unfourtunaly it looks like your family is not going to listen to you,,,ask if you could have just a few things that are very sentimental to you,,,Im sure they would abide your wishes,,,,,
I truley understand your pain of seperation,,, ~~~
basically tell them things that has sentimental value to you and if possible, dont sell things that has memories no matter big or small. come such a time you'll remember those things and where you got them :)
Well you should just tell them that they should keep as much stuff as possable in the family to remind you of your grandpa cause i know i would keep all the stuff i could.
Tell ur family that u want 2 have somthing 2 remember ur grandfather or the house he is moving out of by..But u shouldn't have 2 many things 2 remember by.
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