My husband just left me and my three children. I feel so hopleless. What can I do to feel better?
Answers: forget him and surround yourself with love for your children
What kind of man walks out on his family just after New Year's Day?
This is going to be a long haul but you've got to do something positive and strengthening for yourself. What was the marriage like before? Is this really a blessing? What about his relationship with the kids? There are a multitude of unanswered variables - financial, emotional, perhaps even geographical. Do you know why he left. Does he want to have a part in the kids' lives at all in the future? Is there any chance of a reconsiliation? Do you want that?
First, you should talk to someone. Don't bottle everything up inside. Maybe even this site will provide you with some answers. My heart goes out to you. It is indeed an awful thing. I hope you have a strong support system in place - family, friends, God (if you believe....), a counsellor, anything! You have to be strong for your kids. You didn't mention their ages.
Don't BLAME yourself. Yes, you need to take responsibility for your part (or lack of a part) in the relationship in any way but don't turn it all on YOU if it wasn't your fault. (Don't blame at this point or point fingers.) I don't know the situation but I can't help but wonder what kind of a person would do this. As hard as it is to hear, you are better off knowing now who he REALLY is than spend another 20 years with someone like this.
Long-term goals are one thing but for now, take small steps and do something good for yourself - today, tonight, tomorrow. Throw yourself into a project and *keep busy*. Give to others. There truly are uncountable rewards in selflessly giving of yourself to others. You may not feel like moving but forward motion is everything! Trust me on this, it helped me learn to deal with / live with the loss of a dearly loved one. If I had stayed sitting where I was, I would have drowned. Get up. Get out. Move. Take down your Christmas decorations. Haul everything out of every cupboard and organize it. Pack up *everything* that has anything to do with him and put it in a box in the basement or in a storage room for now. You can decide what to do with it at a later date. Be good to yourself. Never underestimate the power of laughter as medicine. Watch some comedies. Play with your kids. Help them with their homework. Learn to cook and bake like you never did. Have a glass of wine. Go for a long, hot bath. Go for a massage or a manicure. Maybe in time, hook up with some stellar single father somewhere - become the woman he dumped you for. (I am assuming it was another woman.) It's his loss, baby! His Loss!! As soon as possible, FORGIVE...and let go! Hate will bring you down! If you carry it in you...it will eat you up inside far worse than that person is suffering or feeling. They've moved on and they aren't carrying it with them. You don't need to carry their garbage through your life either. Put it down. Leave it where they left it. You don't need to carry it, wear it or let it define who you are.
* Please be good to your children at this time. They are probably hurt and confused.* Good Luck!!
Post Note: I just read Mary J's response and I am appauled. What is wrong with these men and their sense of timing? Chin up, girl. You go...you're stonger than that! Be strong!
I don't know if you know about jesus, even if you don't the best answer any one can gave you is to pray. god can heal all hurts, and I know how much it hurt.
Yeager Bombs really help me when I'm down (red bull and yeager). Just kidding even though your question is not funny. He is a loser. I hope you have a support system in place (your parents or good friends or family). I would consult them. Also if you have a church to go to (which should also be a family if you have one). I would seek comfort from them. Also, taking your whole family to counseling might not be a bad idea either. I'm not sure of the best counseling, but its just a place where you can talk everything out and find out what's next in your life. Screw him and don't try to get him back. If he sucks as bad as it sounds, your better off without him.
GARY H. IS RIGHT. DO WHAT I SAID, BUT DO WHAT HE SAID FIRST. I WOULD CALL RIGHT NOW. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!!! CALL A LAWYER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Get a good lawyer. and take him for everything the law will allow. Im telling you this will make you feel so much better when its all over.
Get a lawyer and sue his ***off.
try & keep ur chin up, if it makes u feel any better, mine left me xmas morning while his children were opening presents. (we have 4, the oldest is 4 & the youngest is 3 months). life is hard but focus on the kids & remember u don't need a man 2 define u
Depending on how old your 3 children are, you may qualify for child support. If you do, then a percentage of your 'ex'husband's paycheck will automatically be taken out and given to you to support your children. Ask some friends of your for more information. That will help you financially.
As for emotionally, just read what the others before me have advised.
Why'd you let that loser dump the kids on you? Sign em over to him, and get a tummy tuck and a breast lift.
I hope you have a very good lawyer, because you should basically take everything he has if you keep those kids. But seriously, I'd leave the kids with him, and make him sweat it out.
What kind of man walks out on his family just after New Year's Day?
This is going to be a long haul but you've got to do something positive and strengthening for yourself. What was the marriage like before? Is this really a blessing? What about his relationship with the kids? There are a multitude of unanswered variables - financial, emotional, perhaps even geographical. Do you know why he left. Does he want to have a part in the kids' lives at all in the future? Is there any chance of a reconsiliation? Do you want that?
First, you should talk to someone. Don't bottle everything up inside. Maybe even this site will provide you with some answers. My heart goes out to you. It is indeed an awful thing. I hope you have a strong support system in place - family, friends, God (if you believe....), a counsellor, anything! You have to be strong for your kids. You didn't mention their ages.
Don't BLAME yourself. Yes, you need to take responsibility for your part (or lack of a part) in the relationship in any way but don't turn it all on YOU if it wasn't your fault. (Don't blame at this point or point fingers.) I don't know the situation but I can't help but wonder what kind of a person would do this. As hard as it is to hear, you are better off knowing now who he REALLY is than spend another 20 years with someone like this.
Long-term goals are one thing but for now, take small steps and do something good for yourself - today, tonight, tomorrow. Throw yourself into a project and *keep busy*. Give to others. There truly are uncountable rewards in selflessly giving of yourself to others. You may not feel like moving but forward motion is everything! Trust me on this, it helped me learn to deal with / live with the loss of a dearly loved one. If I had stayed sitting where I was, I would have drowned. Get up. Get out. Move. Take down your Christmas decorations. Haul everything out of every cupboard and organize it. Pack up *everything* that has anything to do with him and put it in a box in the basement or in a storage room for now. You can decide what to do with it at a later date. Be good to yourself. Never underestimate the power of laughter as medicine. Watch some comedies. Play with your kids. Help them with their homework. Learn to cook and bake like you never did. Have a glass of wine. Go for a long, hot bath. Go for a massage or a manicure. Maybe in time, hook up with some stellar single father somewhere - become the woman he dumped you for. (I am assuming it was another woman.) It's his loss, baby! His Loss!! As soon as possible, FORGIVE...and let go! Hate will bring you down! If you carry it in you...it will eat you up inside far worse than that person is suffering or feeling. They've moved on and they aren't carrying it with them. You don't need to carry their garbage through your life either. Put it down. Leave it where they left it. You don't need to carry it, wear it or let it define who you are.
* Please be good to your children at this time. They are probably hurt and confused.* Good Luck!!
Post Note: I just read Mary J's response and I am appauled. What is wrong with these men and their sense of timing? Chin up, girl. You go...you're stonger than that! Be strong!
I don't know if you know about jesus, even if you don't the best answer any one can gave you is to pray. god can heal all hurts, and I know how much it hurt.
Yeager Bombs really help me when I'm down (red bull and yeager). Just kidding even though your question is not funny. He is a loser. I hope you have a support system in place (your parents or good friends or family). I would consult them. Also if you have a church to go to (which should also be a family if you have one). I would seek comfort from them. Also, taking your whole family to counseling might not be a bad idea either. I'm not sure of the best counseling, but its just a place where you can talk everything out and find out what's next in your life. Screw him and don't try to get him back. If he sucks as bad as it sounds, your better off without him.
GARY H. IS RIGHT. DO WHAT I SAID, BUT DO WHAT HE SAID FIRST. I WOULD CALL RIGHT NOW. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!!! CALL A LAWYER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Get a good lawyer. and take him for everything the law will allow. Im telling you this will make you feel so much better when its all over.
Get a lawyer and sue his ***off.
try & keep ur chin up, if it makes u feel any better, mine left me xmas morning while his children were opening presents. (we have 4, the oldest is 4 & the youngest is 3 months). life is hard but focus on the kids & remember u don't need a man 2 define u
Depending on how old your 3 children are, you may qualify for child support. If you do, then a percentage of your 'ex'husband's paycheck will automatically be taken out and given to you to support your children. Ask some friends of your for more information. That will help you financially.
As for emotionally, just read what the others before me have advised.
Why'd you let that loser dump the kids on you? Sign em over to him, and get a tummy tuck and a breast lift.
I hope you have a very good lawyer, because you should basically take everything he has if you keep those kids. But seriously, I'd leave the kids with him, and make him sweat it out.
More questions & answers:
- I think my husband is interested in another woman?
- We are having a large (picnic) wedding at a state park on July 4th.Open to ideas.?
- If i have 8 kids and then get married in the year 2012 is that good or bad i will be 24 year in the 2012.....?
- Should I Marry This girl just because shes having my child?
- Dentist shud marry dentist?
- I'm stationed in iraq now. im 30yr old. ive been mariied 9yrs. i met someone new. should i leave my wife?
- How do you get over your spouse's infidelity?
- How would you really feel if you caught your wife/husband in the act?
The Family Relationships informations are posted by the website users and for your use only, and without responsibility on oryxquest.com.