How do u fix a marriage when your spouse has had an affair and they are still friends?

Answers: I personally saw this experienced recently with a family friend. The episode has caused more pain than the people directly involved realize. I'm very sorry if this has personally happened to you. It is a hard thing to work through. Bottom line is that in marriage, both males and females need to have boundaries and under no circumstances should those boundaries be crossed. Two people who get married have made a covenant to remain faithful. Why is that so difficult? Part of the idea of setting boundaries included mutual friendships with other couples. My friend's wife had an affair with a single guy who was almost 12 years younger than her. The guy pretended to be friends with both the husband and the wife. So, be on the lookout for people of the opposite sex who might be moving in on your territory. One thing that I need to stress in my response in regards to your question is that you CANNOT instantly FIX a marriage when there has been an affair involved. It might come across as being possessive to your spouse, but you may want to talk with your spouse and let he/she know that your trust has been broken because of the disclosure of the affair. You are probably very naive right now. If your spouse is still communicating with the other person, you have a good reason to believe that they are still emotionally attached. If you can help it, get to a counselor as quickly as possible. If your spouse gives consent and wants to really work on your marriage, recommend that you both go together and try to make an effort to visit a counselor by yourself. You are going to need to address the issues that you are feeling concerning the affair, but you are probably going to need to address the issues that you personally may have such as feelings of inadequacy, inability to perform, etc. I don't know what those issues are, but a counselor will help you to sort through things and help you with areas that you will need to work on in order to improve your marriage. I say this not to hurt you, but to give you a perspective from both sides. Realize that both you and your spouse will be feeling victimized by something. You may say, WHAT?? The other party is victimized??? I'm the one who wasn't having the affair, therefore, I AM THE VICTIM. Take a moment to look at this for a second. You are feeling victimized because your spouse violated your marriage vowels after that promise was made. Your spouse may be feeling victimized because you weren't giving him/her the attention, understanding, or whatever it was that he/she needed. If those things were happening, your spouse would not have needed to have an affair. So, I just challenge you to be open to what your spouse has to say and also to seek counseling. I know that it might be difficult and you may want to place the blame on your spouse for everything, but please also take a look at yourself. It takes two people to make a marriage work. Let your spouse know that you want to make an effort to work on your marriage and that you are committed to him/her. The forgiveness process is difficult, but in order to move on, it is necessary. I pray God gives you direction as decide on the next step.

I don't know, it would be very hard to trust that person.

friends ....yeah right, that may just be a story ..made up for apperances....tell you wife to get wid the program....or you need to bale

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