If your husband had been secretive, deceptive, lying about using his retirement savings for bad investments...
Question: What do you think a woman should do when her husband, father of their three children has been lying,secretive and deceptive all their married life.He finally had to come clean because he could no longer keep his financial secrets since we were about to lose our home.He is self employed with a good income but now three yrs.later we don't own our own home or office,everything is rented.He gets very defensive with me but claims he is now trustworthy and can account for every penny. Needless to say, I'm skeptical but try to confront him as little as possible.We're together for our children, ages 13,17 and 20.If it wasn't for the children, the youngest one a son, I would have left him.I told him our whole marriage has been an illusion. I don't feel any love for him, very little warmth at all.However, he is providing income,is good with the kids,is content to live with a wife who does little for him at this point except the basics and lets him still be part of this family.Lets him save face.
Answers: I've always been told that parents who stay together for their children often end up causing their children more emotional pain than if they arranged for a divorce - just something to think about.
To be perfectly honest, if it were me in that situation, I'd be looking at getting seperated. Its probably not the answer you want to hear, but its the truth. It's obvoius that you care deeply for your childrens wellbeing, but remember to look out for yourself too - it sounds like you're pretty unhappy with the current situation, and the fact that your husband has been lying and decieving you all this time only reinforces my view.
I have this similar problem where my bf lies about all his money & we have a child together. Normally I would post to leave him, but it can be very complicated with children. It makes you wonder, if he has lied about that your whole marriage... what else has he lied about?? Good luck girl, I think I'd somehow disconnect your name from his, because if he goes down, you're credit is going with him...
was that a question, statement, or just a good vent?
Marriage is a partnership, just like a company. You both need to sit down with a CPA and go over things in detail, make sure there is a plan to provide for things and a way to report so it can be reviewed on a quarterly basis.
I admire you for your patience with him thus far. It's always difficult especially when children are involved. Just because you have children it's no excuse to stay together. I think you should at least separate yourself from him for now. If he lied about this then there's no telling what else he has lied about. My question to you would be if you have stayed with him thus far through all this what makes you think you could ever leave him now anyway? That's a question only you can answer. Good Luck!
Answers: I've always been told that parents who stay together for their children often end up causing their children more emotional pain than if they arranged for a divorce - just something to think about.
To be perfectly honest, if it were me in that situation, I'd be looking at getting seperated. Its probably not the answer you want to hear, but its the truth. It's obvoius that you care deeply for your childrens wellbeing, but remember to look out for yourself too - it sounds like you're pretty unhappy with the current situation, and the fact that your husband has been lying and decieving you all this time only reinforces my view.
I have this similar problem where my bf lies about all his money & we have a child together. Normally I would post to leave him, but it can be very complicated with children. It makes you wonder, if he has lied about that your whole marriage... what else has he lied about?? Good luck girl, I think I'd somehow disconnect your name from his, because if he goes down, you're credit is going with him...
was that a question, statement, or just a good vent?
Marriage is a partnership, just like a company. You both need to sit down with a CPA and go over things in detail, make sure there is a plan to provide for things and a way to report so it can be reviewed on a quarterly basis.
I admire you for your patience with him thus far. It's always difficult especially when children are involved. Just because you have children it's no excuse to stay together. I think you should at least separate yourself from him for now. If he lied about this then there's no telling what else he has lied about. My question to you would be if you have stayed with him thus far through all this what makes you think you could ever leave him now anyway? That's a question only you can answer. Good Luck!
More questions & answers:
- What is the difference in ilove him and im in love withhim?
- I'm short and i'm trying to find a wedding dress...?
- How do you jus stop loving someone after 6 years?
- Wht's your opinion?
- Information to find out if a divorce is final?
- Is it possible to get a divorce from a gay canadian marriage, myself being an American citizen?
- Ive only known one lover and i married him we have been together since high school 9 yrs?
- How do i get my ex inlaws to forgive me for things i did?
The Family Relationships informations are posted by the website users and for your use only, and without responsibility on oryxquest.com.