Is it okay to have a couple drinks a week.?
Question: My husband and I have not been seeing eye to eye because I like to have a drink every now and then. I dont get drunk. I have maybe 2 drinks every once in a while (maybe once a week when I go out with a friend.) He does not think it is right because we have 2 kids (I never drink in front of them). He also worries because I come from a family of alcoholics. I really enjoy the taste of it and it really relaxs me. I never have more than 2 drinks. He used to drink a lot before we met but says that now we have resposibilities so we should not drink. Am I wrong? Should I not do it at all because he does not want me to?
Answers: The amount that you are having is fine - it is sustained over drinking or binge drinking that are problems.
Given that you are not drinking alone (whihc is a sign of alcoholism) - it makes me think you don't have a problem.
I also understand that your husband is worried - particularly if he used to do too much before and feels he needs to be different. I actually believe that to protect children you need to show them drinking responsibly rather than just avoiding it altogether.
eg taking children to the pub for a meal and having a small drink.
They will then learn that it is OK and not something secret, forbidden or exciting.
My parents used to give us watered down wine for our sunday lunch - that did more to put me off alcohol than being told I mustn't have any because it's bad (which would simply make me want to do it more).
Perhaps the best course of action is to both (you as well, so he feels supported) head on a counselling course - it'll clear the air and help see that there is a middle ground to binging or abstinence.
Personally, I've let my daughter have a little taste (which she hated) - when she asked. And then all the inquisitiveness disappeared from her. But at least the topic's been broached - which'll make it easier when she gets older and wants to talk about it on a more serious level.
I'd say that doesn't sound bad. Lots of people have a couple drinks a week. He needs to chill.
there is nothing wrong with 2 drinks, once in a while.
It has been said that a glass of wine a day is good for the heart. there is nothing wrong with having a drink, enjoying the taste and not getting drunk. As long as you can go without if need be to prove you aren't addicted then go on and have your drink.
There is nothing wrong with the situation you describe except for the fact that it makes your husband uncomfortable. Talk to him and find out if there's a way that you could compromise where you're both comfortable. Good luck.
i don't think it's wrong. but you make it sound like he's overreacting about nothing which makes it sound like you're not telling the whole story.
quit for him. try chewing gum. i come from an alchohalic family so i have never started because many of them are in jail because of it.
i dont think its a problem as long as you dont get wasted and dont do it in front of your friends maybe you two can compromise and make it on 2 drink twice a month or something. good luck
keep it to one glass of wine a wk...then tell him that it wont hurt you as long as you keep it under control...i think that if you were becoming an alcoholic you would be drinking a hell of a lot more. I have experience with alcoholics and they all drink everyday...first thing in the morning and try to hide it. I dont think he has anything to worry about.
Your not wrong unless he feels that by you having a couple drinks it will instigate him to want to drink again. If thats not the case, your perfectly fine....this from a 32 y.o. male. Your boy is wrong.
I'm in a similar situation with my wife and have yet found a solution to this problem. If he's dead set on you not drinking then you have two options, the first is to quit drinking and the other is to lie about drinking. You're going to lose either way
I see nothing wrong with it. Now if you were haveing drinks every day and more than 2 then i could see the reason for him being upset about it. Your not doing anything wrong. Its your release and u need that when you have children you need something to relax you. Good for you!
drinking in moderation is nothing to be ashamed of, you should tell him to back off
I have two kids and I have a couple of drinks most nights just so I can relax but maybe he is worried because of your family history and his history. I think what you doing by only having a couple of drinks a week is great strength on your part and it should be acknowledged. :)
I THINK ITS OKAY AS LONG AS THERE'S NO DRINKING AND DRIVING
Are you Catholic, cuz I hear a lot of guilt in this question? I drink more than my wife would like, but I make the money to buy it and I'm a responsible dad who doesn't abuse his kid. I am an adult, have earned this right, and married a woman who knew I could put alki away b4 we were hitched. Being married to someone who doesn't drink can have its advantages, like always having a designated driver.
Not to sound crule but your hubby needs to get a life. There is nothing wrong with a coupe of drinks. First it is natural to take in alcohol, next it helps you relax and takes some stress away. It sounds like micro managing your life. I understand that he has concerns with alcoholism BUT if what you are saying is true then you are not having that issue. Do the drinks interfere with other things in your life? Missed an appt? Forgot something for the kids? etc etc? If not then no there is nothing wrong. In fact YOU maybe healthier then him by taknig the drinks.
Now let's tell the truth it's more that 2 drinks a wk. sweetness Right? he would not bother U if U were straight ?I had a girl friend who use 2 say the same thing and she had a bottle hidden in every draw in the house .She would go 2 the bathroom and take a sip in the kitchen take another one until she was hammered . honey sooner or later it will catch up with U ,so get some help .Who do U think UR fooling ? Your self ?
Compromise, maybe you could cut back to a couple drinks a month, instead of a week
i think u shold stop at lest make it only a day a weak.
Okay - it sounds to me like one of two things - either your husband is absolutely terrified that you are a closet alco and is totally over-reacting - or you are not telling the whole story!!!!
In my book - having two drinks once a weeks is putting you in line for Sainthood given that you come from a family of alcoholics. If you enjoy having a drink, there is no harm in doing it in moderation. Do you limit yourself to 2 drinks because you yourself are also afraid of becoming an alcoholic - or is it just that you have had enough after 2 drinks??? If the later is the case, then your husband should be gratefull - there are not many wives out there who go out for the night with the girls and only have 2 drinks - especially with 2 kids - most mom's wana let their hair down and cut loose for the night.
I think that maybe you and your husband should go out for a few drinks together every now and then! Maybe he just doesn't believe that you only have 2 and are hiding something from him!
As for using the kids as an excuse as to why you shouldn't drink - that's ridiculous!!! Kids see enough mind-warping crap on tv and out on the streets whilst they're playing these days - seeing mommy have the occasional glass of wine isn't going to turn them into serial alcoholics!!!
Seems to me that if you are being totally honest in your statement, then your husband is just over-reacting or being a bit of a control freak!
But at the same time, if not having a drink doesn't bother you - maybe you should lay off the sauce for a while to appease him - but explain that you are not doing it because of anything he has said - you just don't feel like drinking now! Then have a few glasses of wine with dinner at one of the holiday meals or something!
His theory about the kids is so stupid because when i was little i saw my parents drinking and once in my entire 21 years saw my mother and my father drunk!! It has affected me or any of my siblings!!!!
I also come from a family of alcoholics and in the past 12 months buried two of my relatives because of it. I understand what he is worried about as i was afraid to drink in case i would end up the same as i grew up watching my aunt and uncle slowly deteriorate which is something i would wish on no one.
If this truly is the whole story then you are not wrong. If however this is not then you need to ask yourself why you didn't tell the whole story. You also can not be mad at people for asking if this is the whole story as you should know addicts find it hard sometimes impossible to admit they have a problem and so hide or lie about the truth.
You and your husband need to talk to each other and you need to try aromatherapy as you said it relaxes you.
I have started drinking now but i am very conscious of the fact to be careful seeing as my family history and their has been times when i haven't been sure of myself so i stopped just to be sure i could.
I wish you all the best and i know how frustrating it can be to be accused of something so personal when its not true but chin up you need to understand peoples concern considering the situation.
Answers: The amount that you are having is fine - it is sustained over drinking or binge drinking that are problems.
Given that you are not drinking alone (whihc is a sign of alcoholism) - it makes me think you don't have a problem.
I also understand that your husband is worried - particularly if he used to do too much before and feels he needs to be different. I actually believe that to protect children you need to show them drinking responsibly rather than just avoiding it altogether.
eg taking children to the pub for a meal and having a small drink.
They will then learn that it is OK and not something secret, forbidden or exciting.
My parents used to give us watered down wine for our sunday lunch - that did more to put me off alcohol than being told I mustn't have any because it's bad (which would simply make me want to do it more).
Perhaps the best course of action is to both (you as well, so he feels supported) head on a counselling course - it'll clear the air and help see that there is a middle ground to binging or abstinence.
Personally, I've let my daughter have a little taste (which she hated) - when she asked. And then all the inquisitiveness disappeared from her. But at least the topic's been broached - which'll make it easier when she gets older and wants to talk about it on a more serious level.
I'd say that doesn't sound bad. Lots of people have a couple drinks a week. He needs to chill.
there is nothing wrong with 2 drinks, once in a while.
It has been said that a glass of wine a day is good for the heart. there is nothing wrong with having a drink, enjoying the taste and not getting drunk. As long as you can go without if need be to prove you aren't addicted then go on and have your drink.
There is nothing wrong with the situation you describe except for the fact that it makes your husband uncomfortable. Talk to him and find out if there's a way that you could compromise where you're both comfortable. Good luck.
i don't think it's wrong. but you make it sound like he's overreacting about nothing which makes it sound like you're not telling the whole story.
quit for him. try chewing gum. i come from an alchohalic family so i have never started because many of them are in jail because of it.
i dont think its a problem as long as you dont get wasted and dont do it in front of your friends maybe you two can compromise and make it on 2 drink twice a month or something. good luck
keep it to one glass of wine a wk...then tell him that it wont hurt you as long as you keep it under control...i think that if you were becoming an alcoholic you would be drinking a hell of a lot more. I have experience with alcoholics and they all drink everyday...first thing in the morning and try to hide it. I dont think he has anything to worry about.
Your not wrong unless he feels that by you having a couple drinks it will instigate him to want to drink again. If thats not the case, your perfectly fine....this from a 32 y.o. male. Your boy is wrong.
I'm in a similar situation with my wife and have yet found a solution to this problem. If he's dead set on you not drinking then you have two options, the first is to quit drinking and the other is to lie about drinking. You're going to lose either way
I see nothing wrong with it. Now if you were haveing drinks every day and more than 2 then i could see the reason for him being upset about it. Your not doing anything wrong. Its your release and u need that when you have children you need something to relax you. Good for you!
drinking in moderation is nothing to be ashamed of, you should tell him to back off
I have two kids and I have a couple of drinks most nights just so I can relax but maybe he is worried because of your family history and his history. I think what you doing by only having a couple of drinks a week is great strength on your part and it should be acknowledged. :)
I THINK ITS OKAY AS LONG AS THERE'S NO DRINKING AND DRIVING
Are you Catholic, cuz I hear a lot of guilt in this question? I drink more than my wife would like, but I make the money to buy it and I'm a responsible dad who doesn't abuse his kid. I am an adult, have earned this right, and married a woman who knew I could put alki away b4 we were hitched. Being married to someone who doesn't drink can have its advantages, like always having a designated driver.
Not to sound crule but your hubby needs to get a life. There is nothing wrong with a coupe of drinks. First it is natural to take in alcohol, next it helps you relax and takes some stress away. It sounds like micro managing your life. I understand that he has concerns with alcoholism BUT if what you are saying is true then you are not having that issue. Do the drinks interfere with other things in your life? Missed an appt? Forgot something for the kids? etc etc? If not then no there is nothing wrong. In fact YOU maybe healthier then him by taknig the drinks.
Now let's tell the truth it's more that 2 drinks a wk. sweetness Right? he would not bother U if U were straight ?I had a girl friend who use 2 say the same thing and she had a bottle hidden in every draw in the house .She would go 2 the bathroom and take a sip in the kitchen take another one until she was hammered . honey sooner or later it will catch up with U ,so get some help .Who do U think UR fooling ? Your self ?
Compromise, maybe you could cut back to a couple drinks a month, instead of a week
i think u shold stop at lest make it only a day a weak.
Okay - it sounds to me like one of two things - either your husband is absolutely terrified that you are a closet alco and is totally over-reacting - or you are not telling the whole story!!!!
In my book - having two drinks once a weeks is putting you in line for Sainthood given that you come from a family of alcoholics. If you enjoy having a drink, there is no harm in doing it in moderation. Do you limit yourself to 2 drinks because you yourself are also afraid of becoming an alcoholic - or is it just that you have had enough after 2 drinks??? If the later is the case, then your husband should be gratefull - there are not many wives out there who go out for the night with the girls and only have 2 drinks - especially with 2 kids - most mom's wana let their hair down and cut loose for the night.
I think that maybe you and your husband should go out for a few drinks together every now and then! Maybe he just doesn't believe that you only have 2 and are hiding something from him!
As for using the kids as an excuse as to why you shouldn't drink - that's ridiculous!!! Kids see enough mind-warping crap on tv and out on the streets whilst they're playing these days - seeing mommy have the occasional glass of wine isn't going to turn them into serial alcoholics!!!
Seems to me that if you are being totally honest in your statement, then your husband is just over-reacting or being a bit of a control freak!
But at the same time, if not having a drink doesn't bother you - maybe you should lay off the sauce for a while to appease him - but explain that you are not doing it because of anything he has said - you just don't feel like drinking now! Then have a few glasses of wine with dinner at one of the holiday meals or something!
His theory about the kids is so stupid because when i was little i saw my parents drinking and once in my entire 21 years saw my mother and my father drunk!! It has affected me or any of my siblings!!!!
I also come from a family of alcoholics and in the past 12 months buried two of my relatives because of it. I understand what he is worried about as i was afraid to drink in case i would end up the same as i grew up watching my aunt and uncle slowly deteriorate which is something i would wish on no one.
If this truly is the whole story then you are not wrong. If however this is not then you need to ask yourself why you didn't tell the whole story. You also can not be mad at people for asking if this is the whole story as you should know addicts find it hard sometimes impossible to admit they have a problem and so hide or lie about the truth.
You and your husband need to talk to each other and you need to try aromatherapy as you said it relaxes you.
I have started drinking now but i am very conscious of the fact to be careful seeing as my family history and their has been times when i haven't been sure of myself so i stopped just to be sure i could.
I wish you all the best and i know how frustrating it can be to be accused of something so personal when its not true but chin up you need to understand peoples concern considering the situation.
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