I'm stationed in iraq now. im 30yr old. ive been mariied 9yrs. i met someone new. should i leave my wife?
Answers: If you'd never met this other person, would you be considering leaving your wife? Ya know assuming there were no distractions, and you were coming home in a month, would you be glad to see her waiting for you with the other families? Would you come home with her and make love? Would you be relieved to have this person you've known for so long, still there at your side?
-If no, then it means the love is gone. If gone just for you, a great tragedy for your wife. But if the feeling is mutual then there was no reason to ask the question.
-If the answer was yes or maybe, then there is still the hope of love shared between you. You have a foundation with your wife, you've made it nine years, come home and work things out.
This other person is a distraction. You were beginning to feel disconnected to your relationship before they came along. They show up in your life and you feel connected again to someone, even if it isn't your wife.
I hope you'll explain to this other person, that you are married and have some issues to work out before you are really available for a new relationship.
Why not your wife probably met someone new while you were on leave on the other hand If you have children you should break it up with this new woman or man and stick with your wife for your child/children's sake its also best to never mention this new person to your wife.
I think the real question here is DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE? If your stationed in Iraq, how do you have the time to meet new women. And start something w/ her? You have a marriage, arent you happy? When you marry someone, you devote your life to them. If leaving now for a stupid reason, like for someone else, then what the h*** did you get married for? If you have other issues, then you need to discuss them w/ your wife, not on the net. P.S. YOU SHOULD NOT CHEAT, it puts you in the catagory w/ other men.
u r 30 yrs old, married to the samewoman for 9 yrs, well the first thing is u should not have seen someother woman. u r not worthy of ur wife's trust (thats if ur wife is clean). check on ur wife, if she is still there for u. if she is still there for u, forget this new woman.. or else ENJOY
It doesn't matter, you're not coming home anyway.
I would say just like how you phased the question you said NOW.I'd make sure that your feelings are really true for this woman that's not your wife before leaving.Maybe,it's just now that you have theses feelings because, of your situation your in and lonely.
Okay 202 that's the shittiest advice ever for this situation. You never stay with a spouse just for the child's sake, it'll screw them up more so in the long run. As for your question, is this new thing you've found, a conquest? A true, meaniful kind of relationship? If it's only something to keep you happy while you're in Iraq, I say, pull your pants up buddy! As far as your wife goes, yes, it's true that a very large number of wives screw around on their husbands while he's deployed and vice versa, however, not all of us are out getting our jollies elsewhere. There are a good number that still wait at home for our loved ones to return, and like a good wife, use a vibrator! If this is going to turn out to be a real relationship, be a man, wait until you go home and tell your wife that you no longer wish to be with her. Keep your thing tucked away until after your divorce.
You are a pig and you will end up alone with this kind of attitude.
Go back to your wife and drop the other woman. Take up some activities with your wife to help her lose weight. She will feel pretty and may regain her sex drive.
Relationships are not based on sex and you seem to be focused more on that. New relationships are exciting but do you want to start over with another woman just to end up where you are today?
I had a similar situation with a man I met in Iraq. He said that he loved me, could really talk to me and the sex was amazing. He said he loved his wife and didn't want her to hurt any more. In the end, he wanted to maintin the life he had built for himself with his wife. That's what love is about though...getting through the rough spots together.
If you really want to be with the other woman , have the decencey to get a divorce before persuing her. If you really love her, then you won't need her to stand by while you go through your divorce. Also, if you really wanted to be with her, you wouldn't need to be here looking for the advice. In your heart, you know what to do so look there.
The saying is, he has two women, she has half a man . If you love either of them, you wouldn't want them to settle that.
It's not right that you're cheating on your wife. Cheating is not the answer and you're only fooling yourself by trying to justify your reasons for cheating. Justified....Just As If I never...
Seriously, men like you are a dime a dozen on the street corner and if that pisses you off...well sometimes the truth hurts.
you should be shot
Scratching every itch that comes along will cause you nothing but pain in the long run. You are dealing with the forced seperation issues that come up allot. You were somewhat happily married untill you were sent over seas, if you returned to your wife you would most likely become somewhat happily married again. It is the nature of the seperation that causes romances like this. Don't be a fool, go back to your wife and work this out. Your soul will be healthier if you do. Remember if it feels wrong it probably is. If your marriage is doomed to failure, then let it run its natural course, but give it and your wife the deserved chance. Look deep into your heart and your conscious, youll find the right path there.
-If no, then it means the love is gone. If gone just for you, a great tragedy for your wife. But if the feeling is mutual then there was no reason to ask the question.
-If the answer was yes or maybe, then there is still the hope of love shared between you. You have a foundation with your wife, you've made it nine years, come home and work things out.
This other person is a distraction. You were beginning to feel disconnected to your relationship before they came along. They show up in your life and you feel connected again to someone, even if it isn't your wife.
I hope you'll explain to this other person, that you are married and have some issues to work out before you are really available for a new relationship.
Why not your wife probably met someone new while you were on leave on the other hand If you have children you should break it up with this new woman or man and stick with your wife for your child/children's sake its also best to never mention this new person to your wife.
I think the real question here is DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE? If your stationed in Iraq, how do you have the time to meet new women. And start something w/ her? You have a marriage, arent you happy? When you marry someone, you devote your life to them. If leaving now for a stupid reason, like for someone else, then what the h*** did you get married for? If you have other issues, then you need to discuss them w/ your wife, not on the net. P.S. YOU SHOULD NOT CHEAT, it puts you in the catagory w/ other men.
u r 30 yrs old, married to the samewoman for 9 yrs, well the first thing is u should not have seen someother woman. u r not worthy of ur wife's trust (thats if ur wife is clean). check on ur wife, if she is still there for u. if she is still there for u, forget this new woman.. or else ENJOY
It doesn't matter, you're not coming home anyway.
I would say just like how you phased the question you said NOW.I'd make sure that your feelings are really true for this woman that's not your wife before leaving.Maybe,it's just now that you have theses feelings because, of your situation your in and lonely.
Okay 202 that's the shittiest advice ever for this situation. You never stay with a spouse just for the child's sake, it'll screw them up more so in the long run. As for your question, is this new thing you've found, a conquest? A true, meaniful kind of relationship? If it's only something to keep you happy while you're in Iraq, I say, pull your pants up buddy! As far as your wife goes, yes, it's true that a very large number of wives screw around on their husbands while he's deployed and vice versa, however, not all of us are out getting our jollies elsewhere. There are a good number that still wait at home for our loved ones to return, and like a good wife, use a vibrator! If this is going to turn out to be a real relationship, be a man, wait until you go home and tell your wife that you no longer wish to be with her. Keep your thing tucked away until after your divorce.
You are a pig and you will end up alone with this kind of attitude.
Go back to your wife and drop the other woman. Take up some activities with your wife to help her lose weight. She will feel pretty and may regain her sex drive.
Relationships are not based on sex and you seem to be focused more on that. New relationships are exciting but do you want to start over with another woman just to end up where you are today?
I had a similar situation with a man I met in Iraq. He said that he loved me, could really talk to me and the sex was amazing. He said he loved his wife and didn't want her to hurt any more. In the end, he wanted to maintin the life he had built for himself with his wife. That's what love is about though...getting through the rough spots together.
If you really want to be with the other woman , have the decencey to get a divorce before persuing her. If you really love her, then you won't need her to stand by while you go through your divorce. Also, if you really wanted to be with her, you wouldn't need to be here looking for the advice. In your heart, you know what to do so look there.
The saying is, he has two women, she has half a man . If you love either of them, you wouldn't want them to settle that.
It's not right that you're cheating on your wife. Cheating is not the answer and you're only fooling yourself by trying to justify your reasons for cheating. Justified....Just As If I never...
Seriously, men like you are a dime a dozen on the street corner and if that pisses you off...well sometimes the truth hurts.
you should be shot
Scratching every itch that comes along will cause you nothing but pain in the long run. You are dealing with the forced seperation issues that come up allot. You were somewhat happily married untill you were sent over seas, if you returned to your wife you would most likely become somewhat happily married again. It is the nature of the seperation that causes romances like this. Don't be a fool, go back to your wife and work this out. Your soul will be healthier if you do. Remember if it feels wrong it probably is. If your marriage is doomed to failure, then let it run its natural course, but give it and your wife the deserved chance. Look deep into your heart and your conscious, youll find the right path there.
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