If you are married or living with someone..how many hours a week do you leave her sitting at home alone while?
Question: you are out with your friend (drinking, fishing, whatever) and girls how many hours a week would you spend alone before it made you mad, keep in mind he has moved you to another state where you know nobody, have no job and no vehicle of your own to get around in, you are stuck at home alone.
Answers: My husband leaves me at home 7 days a week. He is a work alcoholic. He says he is not, but I disagree totally. The only time he will take a day off is when I finally blow up. But you can tell he wants to be at work. He LIVES for work only. He works nights which means he sleeps most the day and evening, gets up, eats and leaves for work again. It's not necessary for him to work all these hours, he chooses too. It's destroying our marriage. I tried to tell him, but he just doesn't see it. I too was brought to another city, no car, no job, no friends. And now, not even him. I give up. He just doesn't see that spending quality time together is important. I've talked until I can't talk anymore. Right now, I don't even care if I see him anymore. He has made me bitter. So, I would say, spend some quality time with the love of your life.
Me? I usually only leave my gf at home 40 hrs a week while I'm at work. Other than that we're usually together.
-Duo
There are only rare occasions when only one of us goes out. Of course, she chose to come here because her parents pissed her off so bad she didn't want to be anywhere near, most of her friends ended up being close to here, and she has her own car .. so it's not a very similar situation but you know...
I never leave my wife at home alone.
I would have to fish 1 or 2 times a week but other than that I am home.
Yo bro. Spend as much time with your lady. go to work and stuff but take that time out with your lady. Make her feel special. If you dont, the next man will.
I don't live with my gf, but we both do things on our own. You should make him get you a car and then go get a job so you will have something to do. I wouldn't be able to stand being stuck at home all the time.
Doesn't sound like a good situation..Time for you to move on.
Been there, done that. While he was out he began seeing someone, and we ended up divorced. I moved back to my home state and started over.
I am all for guys and girls both spending quality time with friends, but sometimes there is a such thing as too much, and that depends on the couple I suppose.
as long as i've got the free times
Huby needs to get his sh stuff together. You deserve better
oh i wouldnt go for that for one minute id be out meeting people myself to run with hell with sitting at home alone what did you take her for if your not around her nope not for me
Only, while I'm at work... Other than that, we're together always... Sounds like you two need to have a serious talk...
me and my gf always spend time 2getha, unless she's at work or im at skool but we still make time 4 eachother durin that. we love eachother and cant get enuf of eachother
i would walk to someplace or call a cab. i would also sign up for a community class to meet people. he is being a jerk, but you dont have to be a victim. be indepenant despite your position and to hell with him if he doesnt wise up and come to you with respect.
why did you do that? is he a control freak? you shouldnt have to put up with this, make friends and get out of the hpuse too. leave him for a change.see what happens. dont just wait for him at home. take the car before he does,wake up early and take off like he does, see how he likes it.even ifyou just go t othe library or where ever.do you have a job? get a job and go out with your pals at work. do something and i bet he will change.good luck
I live with my boyfriend (we own a house together) in an area where I really only know HIS friends. We both work 40 hours a week, and beyond that I encourage him to go out at least one night a week with his buddies. I need ME TIME! I like to take online courses so that takes up my time. Plus when he's gone it gives me a chance to do random things, like blast the music and dance around the house, read a book, etc.
Why don't you get a volunteer job, say at a local shelter or children's group or something? It must be boring having no job. You could take the bus until the 2 of you can afford another car.
OK, technically I'm on the flip side of this because my boyfriend is retired, but I usually leave him at the house by himself about 3 hours a day, 6 on the days I work, because I work out w/ my girlfriend in the mornings. I'd also say I go out about 1 night a week w/o him as well.
I don't leave my wife alone much outside of going to work. She moved here from another country where people are a lot more sociable (brazil), so I owe it to her to spend as much time as possible with her while she works on making her own friends. I commute to work so she can use the car during the day though. Despite that, she complains the one or two times a YEAR I go out to dinner with friends for their birthdays!
ANyway, she finds going to school, the library, the marina etc. help. I don't know if you live in a more urban or rural setting, but hopefully you can at least be out and be around people or I think you (meaning you and he) are going to have stress eventually.
if you are asking if its OK for a couple to still maintain independence and a life aside from the relationship? YES it is necessary and good for the person and the relationship.
now, if he is leaving you alone knowingly of the limitations then its time to have a serious talk.
I would never be put in that situation!
I would never be without a car of my own, NEVER.
You are responsible for yourself, not him. You have put yourself into this mess and it is up to you to get yourself out. He is NOT responsible for you or the way your life is.
I know how love can be, but look out for number one.
You are not a baby. He is not your babysitter.
You are an adult. Figure out what you need to do to get your OWN car even if it means borrowing from parents or friends and taking a bus to go and look at used Toyotas from ads in the paper.
This is where I would start, by doing whatever it takes to get a car of my own. And stop blaming him for it. YOU made these choices.
Honey that's awful, I was married to an idiot like that, I had two small children at home and after they were already asleep he would take out and of course someone had to stay with the kids right. If you are unhappy honey get out. You don't want to be feeling this way all the time. Or give him an ultimatium he spends more time with you or you are out, that simple. I on the other hand put up with it for 4 years until he confessed to cheating on me and that he impregnated a 16 yr. old. Running with the guys can lead to other things sometimes.
I'd say once or twice a week is acceptable. Why can't you come along to drink or fish or whatever? It would be a different story if you had friends of your own, then you could go do your own thing as well. Maybe get out there and make some friends. If you have kids (I'm assuming you do cause of your sign on name) get them involved in a play group...and you can make friends with the parents! Win win situation!
he should be spending more time with you. If he goes out Friday, then Saturday ya'll should go out and chill on Sundays. Or he should take you out every once in a while with his friends. Maybe his friends can hang out at your home. Meet their women and become friends with them so you have something to do without him. Plus you should gat a car so you wont feel trapped when he leaves.
find a way of getting Around, make some friends, go on-line and find jobs in your Area.start doing for yourself and i beat he's going to be at home more.
Well I'm in a different town, where I know nobody, have no job, no vehicle (can't drive anyway) and am stuck home alone quite often, but not because my partner goes drinking (he hardly ever does) etc. It's because he works,I get left on my own because of him going to work about 41-48 hours a week, maybe more, I get left on my own 3 hours a week because he went to singing lessons, but they've finished now. But I did get fed up when all he did was work, come home and go on his computer, we ended up not doing anything together and so I decided to have 1 day a week, just for ourselves. I've not had him all to myself since 17th May because he's had to work or go singing or goto a concert (from the singing lesson) or see his parents (I don't want him not to see his parents) or something else has cropped up. Maybe you should find something you could both do once a week together :)
My boyfriend doesn't even have time for his friends sometimes because he works in a pub, so they go out at the weekend when he's working. He also feels guilty leaving me alone for so long and asks if it's ok to see his friends on the blue moons he actually gets to see them, but I honestly don't mind.
My husband has his time with his buddies and I have my time with my friends. But we always have time with each other.
I don't mean to sound cruel, but it sounds that he has you right where he wants you. No friends, no job, no transportation? What's up with that??
Start making your own friends.
If my husband would choose to spend more time with his friends than with me, I would certainly be mad.
That is very cruel. I have a hamster and I always make sure it has one of those exercise wheels and some toys in the cage when I go out.
never.
find yourself new friends to chill with if you are lonely or find yourself a more giving relationship ,relationships take time and you got to beleive and trust your better half ,,if not throw in the towel now or stop crying about it
I feel for you. It is worrying that a. it does not come up to his mind that you are sitting alone waiting for him, b. that he does not feel he wants to spend time with you.
I know it is not easy because I have the same problem, in very different circumstances (he goes to the pub after very long days in the office, I have a car and can lead my life). It is difficult to decide when is the time you have seen enough of all this and this is telling you too much about how little he cares for you.
The best way forward is, if you can, to have a serious discussion with him. No blame. Just explain, describe what it is for you, explain how it makes you feel, discuss what he could do differently. If that does not lead to a change in his attitude, then I am afraid you know the answer and what you should do. Good luck to you. Just do your best and try to not let this depress you. There is a way out and you will find it.
All the best.
If you are fed up, then take a break. I don't think you have to leave the guy and end it but maybe you should head home. Take the greyhound, it's safe and cheap, and go to your hometown for a few days. It will be great for you to socialize and be in a familiar place again. That will also give you time to think whether you want to go back. Perhaps he will miss you and realize how unhappy you were and you guys can work on some kind of compromise. He should be taking you out so you can meet people. Have you asked him to introduce you to his friends and their girlfriends? Don't just steam at home you will eventually boil over. Get out and take charge of the situation.
Answers: My husband leaves me at home 7 days a week. He is a work alcoholic. He says he is not, but I disagree totally. The only time he will take a day off is when I finally blow up. But you can tell he wants to be at work. He LIVES for work only. He works nights which means he sleeps most the day and evening, gets up, eats and leaves for work again. It's not necessary for him to work all these hours, he chooses too. It's destroying our marriage. I tried to tell him, but he just doesn't see it. I too was brought to another city, no car, no job, no friends. And now, not even him. I give up. He just doesn't see that spending quality time together is important. I've talked until I can't talk anymore. Right now, I don't even care if I see him anymore. He has made me bitter. So, I would say, spend some quality time with the love of your life.
Me? I usually only leave my gf at home 40 hrs a week while I'm at work. Other than that we're usually together.
-Duo
There are only rare occasions when only one of us goes out. Of course, she chose to come here because her parents pissed her off so bad she didn't want to be anywhere near, most of her friends ended up being close to here, and she has her own car .. so it's not a very similar situation but you know...
I never leave my wife at home alone.
I would have to fish 1 or 2 times a week but other than that I am home.
Yo bro. Spend as much time with your lady. go to work and stuff but take that time out with your lady. Make her feel special. If you dont, the next man will.
I don't live with my gf, but we both do things on our own. You should make him get you a car and then go get a job so you will have something to do. I wouldn't be able to stand being stuck at home all the time.
Doesn't sound like a good situation..Time for you to move on.
Been there, done that. While he was out he began seeing someone, and we ended up divorced. I moved back to my home state and started over.
I am all for guys and girls both spending quality time with friends, but sometimes there is a such thing as too much, and that depends on the couple I suppose.
as long as i've got the free times
Huby needs to get his sh stuff together. You deserve better
oh i wouldnt go for that for one minute id be out meeting people myself to run with hell with sitting at home alone what did you take her for if your not around her nope not for me
Only, while I'm at work... Other than that, we're together always... Sounds like you two need to have a serious talk...
me and my gf always spend time 2getha, unless she's at work or im at skool but we still make time 4 eachother durin that. we love eachother and cant get enuf of eachother
i would walk to someplace or call a cab. i would also sign up for a community class to meet people. he is being a jerk, but you dont have to be a victim. be indepenant despite your position and to hell with him if he doesnt wise up and come to you with respect.
why did you do that? is he a control freak? you shouldnt have to put up with this, make friends and get out of the hpuse too. leave him for a change.see what happens. dont just wait for him at home. take the car before he does,wake up early and take off like he does, see how he likes it.even ifyou just go t othe library or where ever.do you have a job? get a job and go out with your pals at work. do something and i bet he will change.good luck
I live with my boyfriend (we own a house together) in an area where I really only know HIS friends. We both work 40 hours a week, and beyond that I encourage him to go out at least one night a week with his buddies. I need ME TIME! I like to take online courses so that takes up my time. Plus when he's gone it gives me a chance to do random things, like blast the music and dance around the house, read a book, etc.
Why don't you get a volunteer job, say at a local shelter or children's group or something? It must be boring having no job. You could take the bus until the 2 of you can afford another car.
OK, technically I'm on the flip side of this because my boyfriend is retired, but I usually leave him at the house by himself about 3 hours a day, 6 on the days I work, because I work out w/ my girlfriend in the mornings. I'd also say I go out about 1 night a week w/o him as well.
I don't leave my wife alone much outside of going to work. She moved here from another country where people are a lot more sociable (brazil), so I owe it to her to spend as much time as possible with her while she works on making her own friends. I commute to work so she can use the car during the day though. Despite that, she complains the one or two times a YEAR I go out to dinner with friends for their birthdays!
ANyway, she finds going to school, the library, the marina etc. help. I don't know if you live in a more urban or rural setting, but hopefully you can at least be out and be around people or I think you (meaning you and he) are going to have stress eventually.
if you are asking if its OK for a couple to still maintain independence and a life aside from the relationship? YES it is necessary and good for the person and the relationship.
now, if he is leaving you alone knowingly of the limitations then its time to have a serious talk.
I would never be put in that situation!
I would never be without a car of my own, NEVER.
You are responsible for yourself, not him. You have put yourself into this mess and it is up to you to get yourself out. He is NOT responsible for you or the way your life is.
I know how love can be, but look out for number one.
You are not a baby. He is not your babysitter.
You are an adult. Figure out what you need to do to get your OWN car even if it means borrowing from parents or friends and taking a bus to go and look at used Toyotas from ads in the paper.
This is where I would start, by doing whatever it takes to get a car of my own. And stop blaming him for it. YOU made these choices.
Honey that's awful, I was married to an idiot like that, I had two small children at home and after they were already asleep he would take out and of course someone had to stay with the kids right. If you are unhappy honey get out. You don't want to be feeling this way all the time. Or give him an ultimatium he spends more time with you or you are out, that simple. I on the other hand put up with it for 4 years until he confessed to cheating on me and that he impregnated a 16 yr. old. Running with the guys can lead to other things sometimes.
I'd say once or twice a week is acceptable. Why can't you come along to drink or fish or whatever? It would be a different story if you had friends of your own, then you could go do your own thing as well. Maybe get out there and make some friends. If you have kids (I'm assuming you do cause of your sign on name) get them involved in a play group...and you can make friends with the parents! Win win situation!
he should be spending more time with you. If he goes out Friday, then Saturday ya'll should go out and chill on Sundays. Or he should take you out every once in a while with his friends. Maybe his friends can hang out at your home. Meet their women and become friends with them so you have something to do without him. Plus you should gat a car so you wont feel trapped when he leaves.
find a way of getting Around, make some friends, go on-line and find jobs in your Area.start doing for yourself and i beat he's going to be at home more.
Well I'm in a different town, where I know nobody, have no job, no vehicle (can't drive anyway) and am stuck home alone quite often, but not because my partner goes drinking (he hardly ever does) etc. It's because he works,I get left on my own because of him going to work about 41-48 hours a week, maybe more, I get left on my own 3 hours a week because he went to singing lessons, but they've finished now. But I did get fed up when all he did was work, come home and go on his computer, we ended up not doing anything together and so I decided to have 1 day a week, just for ourselves. I've not had him all to myself since 17th May because he's had to work or go singing or goto a concert (from the singing lesson) or see his parents (I don't want him not to see his parents) or something else has cropped up. Maybe you should find something you could both do once a week together :)
My boyfriend doesn't even have time for his friends sometimes because he works in a pub, so they go out at the weekend when he's working. He also feels guilty leaving me alone for so long and asks if it's ok to see his friends on the blue moons he actually gets to see them, but I honestly don't mind.
My husband has his time with his buddies and I have my time with my friends. But we always have time with each other.
I don't mean to sound cruel, but it sounds that he has you right where he wants you. No friends, no job, no transportation? What's up with that??
Start making your own friends.
If my husband would choose to spend more time with his friends than with me, I would certainly be mad.
That is very cruel. I have a hamster and I always make sure it has one of those exercise wheels and some toys in the cage when I go out.
never.
find yourself new friends to chill with if you are lonely or find yourself a more giving relationship ,relationships take time and you got to beleive and trust your better half ,,if not throw in the towel now or stop crying about it
I feel for you. It is worrying that a. it does not come up to his mind that you are sitting alone waiting for him, b. that he does not feel he wants to spend time with you.
I know it is not easy because I have the same problem, in very different circumstances (he goes to the pub after very long days in the office, I have a car and can lead my life). It is difficult to decide when is the time you have seen enough of all this and this is telling you too much about how little he cares for you.
The best way forward is, if you can, to have a serious discussion with him. No blame. Just explain, describe what it is for you, explain how it makes you feel, discuss what he could do differently. If that does not lead to a change in his attitude, then I am afraid you know the answer and what you should do. Good luck to you. Just do your best and try to not let this depress you. There is a way out and you will find it.
All the best.
If you are fed up, then take a break. I don't think you have to leave the guy and end it but maybe you should head home. Take the greyhound, it's safe and cheap, and go to your hometown for a few days. It will be great for you to socialize and be in a familiar place again. That will also give you time to think whether you want to go back. Perhaps he will miss you and realize how unhappy you were and you guys can work on some kind of compromise. He should be taking you out so you can meet people. Have you asked him to introduce you to his friends and their girlfriends? Don't just steam at home you will eventually boil over. Get out and take charge of the situation.
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