Talked again this morning without the children around. He says he is a changed man. I knew he would do this.?
Question: The boys & I were actually gone Sat & Sun 2 hours away at my sisters. We had our original big talk Fri night before I left for 2 days. When I got back Sun evening, he was smothering me with kindness. He has not raised his voice one time towards me or the boys. He has been overly nice! It seems fake to me. This morning he said that he realizes what he has done, asked for my forgiveness & we should be able to just draw a line in the sand, move forward, & start over. I tried to explain to him that it's not that easy. He says that it should be if we are both willing to work at it & want it to work. I told him that there are issues that we have to work thru & I can't just forgive & forget how I've been treated for the past how many years. Right now, I don't know if I want it to work. I don't feel any love anymore. I feel hurt & empty. I asked him again if he thought more about counseling. He is thinking about it. I told him that the boys & I might go on to counseling. He said why the boys?
Answers: In this situation, you should be the one calling the shots. You should be able to say, I want you to go to counseling, and I want the boys to go to counseling. You should be able to say what you want to see happen. He screwed up, he has to make ammends. He should not have to think about it, he should just do. Period. If he's not willing to do, then he needs to go.
Call this agency, to get a referral for your area. TurnAround, Inc. That's in maryland, and I don't know if they're everywhere or not. But you can call them and get a referral for domestic violence or abuse relief elsewhere.
la verdad q no lo se
You should leave. He's not going to change and if you stay you're being ignorant and neglecting your children. HE WON T CHANGE!!! or he will, then he will change back.
Take time apart and if he's sincere you will notice the changes when you do see him.
family counseling means everyone in the family, you said you know his background, then use your inner heart, he will return to his old ways without outside help, no help no love, you and kids come first, if he can not accept counseling then go back to your sisters until he admits he has a problem, if not, throw him out like last nights trash! love does not have I in it.
separate for a lil while and see how that works
Sounds like your not in love with your husband anymore. I don't know what he did,but whatever it was,it has hurt you very much,to the point of no forgiveness. When you left for 2 days,it was his opportunity,to think about what he did wrong. (But) at the same time,him being alone in the house without his family,made him realize what it is going to be like if divorce occurs. Because you know your husband,better than anyone,whatever abuse he's been taking you through over the years,may not stop. In a situation like this,you can't just draw the line . That means he wants you to just forget about it. Men seem to think they can do exactly what they want,and the woman is suppose to just grin and bare it. Woman may forgive,but we don't forget. There is always something waiting in the wings,to trigger a bad memory,or incident. The hurt and emptiness is only shadowed by the things we have to do everyday,to take our minds off of what happened yesterday. If you don't feel love for him anymore; then a counselor is not the answer. A divorce court is!. Don't stay in a marriage for the sake of the children,because it will only get worst,and they will resent both of you. If you decide to go to a counselor anyway,then it is best that the whole family attend. The children may have hidden thoughts and fellings,and it will help them to air them out. You've done all you can do,to be a good wife,mother,and mentor. Don't let your happiness be ruined by someone who's been abusive,selfish,and unappreciative. Think of your future,and your children. (I'll be praying for you!-Good Luck)
Answers: In this situation, you should be the one calling the shots. You should be able to say, I want you to go to counseling, and I want the boys to go to counseling. You should be able to say what you want to see happen. He screwed up, he has to make ammends. He should not have to think about it, he should just do. Period. If he's not willing to do, then he needs to go.
Call this agency, to get a referral for your area. TurnAround, Inc. That's in maryland, and I don't know if they're everywhere or not. But you can call them and get a referral for domestic violence or abuse relief elsewhere.
la verdad q no lo se
You should leave. He's not going to change and if you stay you're being ignorant and neglecting your children. HE WON T CHANGE!!! or he will, then he will change back.
Take time apart and if he's sincere you will notice the changes when you do see him.
family counseling means everyone in the family, you said you know his background, then use your inner heart, he will return to his old ways without outside help, no help no love, you and kids come first, if he can not accept counseling then go back to your sisters until he admits he has a problem, if not, throw him out like last nights trash! love does not have I in it.
separate for a lil while and see how that works
Sounds like your not in love with your husband anymore. I don't know what he did,but whatever it was,it has hurt you very much,to the point of no forgiveness. When you left for 2 days,it was his opportunity,to think about what he did wrong. (But) at the same time,him being alone in the house without his family,made him realize what it is going to be like if divorce occurs. Because you know your husband,better than anyone,whatever abuse he's been taking you through over the years,may not stop. In a situation like this,you can't just draw the line . That means he wants you to just forget about it. Men seem to think they can do exactly what they want,and the woman is suppose to just grin and bare it. Woman may forgive,but we don't forget. There is always something waiting in the wings,to trigger a bad memory,or incident. The hurt and emptiness is only shadowed by the things we have to do everyday,to take our minds off of what happened yesterday. If you don't feel love for him anymore; then a counselor is not the answer. A divorce court is!. Don't stay in a marriage for the sake of the children,because it will only get worst,and they will resent both of you. If you decide to go to a counselor anyway,then it is best that the whole family attend. The children may have hidden thoughts and fellings,and it will help them to air them out. You've done all you can do,to be a good wife,mother,and mentor. Don't let your happiness be ruined by someone who's been abusive,selfish,and unappreciative. Think of your future,and your children. (I'll be praying for you!-Good Luck)
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